I'm reading a book called The Child Whisperer by Carol Tuttle which talks about letting our children's natural tendencies shine through to help them become happy, successful, cooperative children. It's about respecting your children and allowing them to grow up without feeling like they need to go against what comes naturally to them.
It's based on her 4 energy types which are basically like her version of personality types which she markets as being more real and true than a person's personality.
I have to say that I really disliked the first chapters because I really just don't like her style. It sounds like she pretends to be scientific when her work just isn't, and she talks as though her book is the best thing ever, a true handbook for how to raise children that every single parent should have. I don't like the arrogance, it goes further than just confidence. If this was a novel, I would have stopped right there (I stop reading something very easily) but I thought there was probably something I could get out of this book, especially since it was recommended by my son's daycare educator.
I fought to get to the good stuff and the first energy type was an exact description of my 6 year old daughter.
Here it is:
Type 1: The Fun-loving Child
- Primary Connection to the World: Social
- Primary Movement: Bouncy and random
- Primary Need: To have fun and happy parents
I feel like I learned so much about who she is when I read the detailed descriptions and examples... it expanded on what I had noticed and knew about her and told me that it was not only OK but necessary to accept and embrace her nature as a fun-loving, carefree, happy, random, high-energy girl. I've been struggling because I highly value my daughter for her spontaneous, high energy nature but the other part of me wants her to be able to sit still and be able to concentrate better on tasks especially for school grades. I've been struggling with knowing she's not a bad kid at all because of her tendencies but also knowing that the educational system is not tailored for children like her at all and wanting her to do well!
I was reminded of how amazing her energy is, how true and pure it is and how much better she will feel in the present and future if she is able to be true to herself on a day by day basis rather than be molded into what we want from her. I recognized that I squash her nature when I tell her to "stop talking - for crying out loud stop talking!!" and that a child like this will go from one subject to another and be very talkative, but will also be easily redirected and might just need a moment!
For those of you who watch My Little Pony, I've said it from the beginning, my daughter is Pinky Pie! Way random, always wanting to have FUN, talks non stop, intuitive, quirky, etc. Pinky Pie was probably based on this "energy type".
This book basically says that for children who are of this fun-loving energy type, FUN is not only fun to them, it's what makes them who they are, what makes them well. It's a necessity in their life, not just distraction or entertainment. Honouring her nature, it's not a good thing to force her to spend a long time doing one homework or project before doing the next, etc. The book suggests breaking up the homework into shorter time spans, mixing up what needs to be done in a more random fashion that these types respond well to. And why not?! This is something I will try with my daughter. IThere were other nice tips that I will take note of so I can remind myself every once in a while.
So I have to say that despite the shaky beginning, I'm really getting something out of this book and I feel that it's very helpful to keeping things in perspective as a parent, helping our children become happy, well adjusted people and it remains to be seen, but hopefully I see some good outcomes for their current behaviour.
Next post: Type 3 (my son)