Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Gentle Discipline

I've been learning more about gentle parenting so that I can apply it to my family and hopefully help my kids feel and BE better. It's supposed to be a more harmonious way of parenting, that has the children's rhythms and needs respected rather than have them forced to fit into our adult lifestyle. It's about connection and compassion and allowing them to be who they naturally are.

I've always taken an attachment parenting approach, which I guess gentle discipline is a part of, so it's not totally foreign to me. The connection you have with your child is extremely important, your children's needs should be met, and your children need to feel secure and safe with you... This is part of the approach.

Here are some things I've been trying to do: 

-Make efforts for the children's routines to keep them well-rested, not hungry (snacks at appropriate times) and comfortable overall to avoid the annoyances that make behaviour worse.

-Be softer in speech, no yelling when anger overtakes me.

-Avoid saying "no" to Adam, instead I use the positive version... For example he wants an apple, I tell him he can have one after supper instead of saying he can't have one now.

-Not force the Adam to do things the "proper" way, but show him how by modelling good behaviour and manners. Positive reminders when necessary, but no forcing. This is something new for me especially when it comes to saying sorry... But I've decided to put the focus on making him FEEL sorry rather than just saying it.

-Have LOGICAL consequences. If he refuses to put his mittens, his hands will be cold outside. If he throws his food, his meal is done. If he hits his sister, she will play elsewhere and not with him (unless behaviour changes and a "make nice" attempt is made, in which case she forgives him immediately and they start over)

-Make efforts to understand WHY the behaviour is happening... I let the children know that I understand that they are angry/sad/frustrated/etc.

Next parenting post coming up is on this book I'm reading called The Child Whisperer which talks about 4 types of "energies", a bit like personalities and how to best deal with the children in each.

1 Comentário:

Susanne said...

great tips!

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