It's a bit sucky that I feel that way, but it is what it is. I have no motivation whatsoever to fast. I'm not good with fasting but this year, unlike others, I started with literally no intention to even try. I can't say I feel bad other than just wishing I wanted to participate like other Muslims and wanting to belong to the community a little more. But in the end, I don't want to fast and I just don't belong in any real way.
My husband and his mom are fasting at home and I just eat with the kids and take care of them. I keep a bit of appetite to be with them but there's big fat zero festive atmosphere. It's less than any year. I think my husband's mom might have been helpful for that but it hasn't. I imagine that her first Ramadan away from Egypt doesn't leave her feeling festive. She made a lot of traditional desserts the first week but I don't really like them and neither do the kids so it's like the month started with a downer.
She has been going to teraweeh every night and my daughter goes to jumah every week with her. At least that's good.
How is everyone else doing? Hope all is well :)
Tuesday, July 23, 2013