Saturday, May 26, 2012

Parenting - The Controversy of Spanking

I'm writing with a bit of anger here at being disobeyed on almost every point for the past few hours and I also feel flat out disrespected by my 5 year old.

I'm not an advocate of spanking. In fact, I'm flat-out against it and I have a bit of negativity go out towards people who are pro-spanking who describe it as a necessary method of discipline and who believe that if they don't do it, their child will run wild and will never have respect for authority in later life and all that. I really still think that they are wrong.

BUT, the part that I sympathize with after my awful time with Nora this evening is the desire to spank your child into submission. OK, I'm making it sound worse than it is maybe. I'm making it sound like a beating when I realize that the child is not physically injured beyond a few seconds of stinging, but the idea still is that parents want their child to obey and use this physical punishment to make them.

And boy did I want to... I'm not proud of it because I really am against spanking, but I was being physically rough with Nora when I was trying to make her go to the naughty corner and when she didn't stay, I dragged her to her room (she may or may not have touched the ground) and told her that if she came out, she'd get spanked (well, I described spanking because she doesn't know this word). And truthfully, if she came out of that room, she'd have gotten spanked. I WAS SEEING RED!

I see this as part of my mistakes as a parent and part of my faults and I don't blame it 100% on her. If I haven't exhausted every discipline method that does not involve physical punishment before actually punishing her with something like spanking, I will accept it as a mistake and I will not be able to say "I did the best thing for my child, I spanked her". That's how I see myself on this issue... a parent with faults but at least not deluded.

2 Comentários:

NeverEver said...

My parents spanked me one time in my whole life and I still remember it. They gave me a lot of advanced warning to change my behavior, and they did it as a last resort. They never had to do it again.

My brother and his wife occasionally spank their daughter. They do not give her a lot of advanced warning and it is not always as a last resort. It does not work for them.

I think it heavily depends on the kid and the situation. My parents didn't ever spank me when they were angry, and they never ever threatened to do something that they didn't carry out. So, I knew that if they threatened me with a spanking that they really would do it, and that was a very excellent deterrent for me.

Rebekka @ Becky's Kaleidoscope said...

I was spanked a few times as a child, and I don't remember anything good ever coming out of it.

When that is said, I completely understand the urge, and the feeling of helplessness (strange how such young kids can reduce a grown-up to such feelings). I haven't got kids myself, but I worked as an au pair for 8 months, when I was 16, looking after 3 girls at 6, 4 and 2 years old (yes I do think that's too much responsibility for a 16-year-old to have on an every-day basis). I never laid a hand on them, but there were times when I was really close because I'd be at my wits end.

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