Thursday, April 12, 2012

Should I Foster a Dog? My Issues

I kind of volunteered to foster a dog for a rescue in a worst case scenario and for a temporary (1-2 months) period of time. Nothing set in stone, but they need help after the current foster for the dog moved. The post has nothing to do with whether or not dogs are allowed in the home (unless someone feels a strong need to bring that up) because I feel 100% confident and happy with my position on dogs being perfectly OK in a home.

BUT, I have some issues that might make it a very bad idea to foster this dog.

Issue 1: Not allowed dogs in the apartment. Neither is the upstairs neighbour though and not only does he have a dog, he has his own dog who is there permanently. And it's in his contract as much as mine that dogs are not allowed and he's not being kicked out over it. Owner has accepted his dog permanently so I should have no problems with what I offered the rescue.

Issue 2: Husband doesn't like dogs and doesn't feel comfortable around them and holds the traditional Muslim cultural mentality and ideas about dogs (dirty, invalidates prayer, no angels enter, etc) He wouldn't accept if I asked the question and he'd be angry if I arrived with a dog. He might tolerate the dog if it was here with nowhere to go but might also make a gigantic problem over it. I realize it wouldn't be fair to force him with it but I feel like there could be a solution/compromise. Any ideas for this?

Issue 3: This rescue has some iffy practices. I read that they buy dogs about to be killed from a for-profit high kill pound with really bad practices so they are supporting them and their disgusting practices indirectly by buying these dogs. I know that the dogs they buy really are about to be killed in the next day or so and had no chance of survival except for this rescue and I respect that, but I suspect it might be a money-making strategy. This pound deals with the majority of strays in the Montreal area, so LOTS of dogs daily. A lot of these dogs are perfectly great and adoptable, and cute on top of that so for them to save these very adoptable dogs and re-home them for their adoption fee gives them profit.

That's the second thing that bugs me about them. Their adoption fees. They are so high that I wonder if there is not the possibility that the rescue guys are making profit from it that they keep. 400$ is the standard adoption fee and they write that it can go up to 600$ for pure breed puppies. 150-300$ sounds more standard and reasonable to me based on what I have seen elsewhere and maybe 350$-400$ for puppies of more in demand breeds. They rely 100% on fosters who mainly pay all the food and accessories for their foster dogs. The rescue pays vet bills and operating them so there's something off about that.

They are always having urgent pleas for help on their website and petfinder and Facebook, a lot of times because of a shortage of fosters for these dogs. It seems like if they concentrated on thoroughly helping the dogs they have and letting go of the bad pound as a source of dogs, they could run a 100% "right" but smaller and higher quality rescue.

Onto the dog that I want to foster:

She is a dog that I know they got from an owner who didn't want her anymore and was about to be put to sleep. Nothing to do with the pound I hate. She is 8 years old so obviously was not taken to get quick money from. Few people want to adopt an old dog. I do believe they have good intentions and I can see that they work hard and have passion for saving dogs... I'm just iffy on some things like I wrote.

The biggest issue is my husband though, isn't it? After writing it all out, that's what I've been able to see... Is there a way any of you can think for me to be able to have this dog? My husband has said he'd be OK with having a dog when we have our own house and can give the dog his own space... I have a small yard and balcony here and I can put a barrier between the hallway leading the rooms and another barrier at the entrance of our living room to let the dog only be in our kitchen/dining area. My husband is hardly here! OMG I want this dog! :S

8 Comentários:

Anonymous said...

Salam Candice!

Wow, I guess you really want this dog. I have kinda the same situation with my husband only in reverse. He wants a gun, and I am opposed to it.Out of respect for my feelings, he decided not to buy it. I think that if you choose to get a dog when your husband has said it's not time, it's disrespectful. He wouldn't feel comfortable with a dog in the home like I wouldn't feel comfortable with a gun in the home. In the end you guys have to make that decision together, but I think that him saying that you can have a dog when you have your own home is a great compromise.

Hope this helped!

Maryam said...

Is a dog worth the problems that it will bring between your husband and you.
What about your children, is this dog safe around kids?

LK said...

If its going to cause a huge riff between you and your husband then its not worth it. He most likely will not change his mind. My Ex and I argued about dogs constantly. Muslims are truly taught to fear their presence. If he believes that myth, then you'll be causing serious ciaos in your home.

I suppose you have to think about if a dog is worth hurting the progress you have made with your husband.

Candice said...

When I finished writing the post, I realized how crazy I was and went straight to my husband to ask him what he thought of it. That way I could stop imagining that it can work out and go on to something else.

He was surprisingly compromising. I could tell he was making efforts to go to his max on the dog issue but it was just not enough for a dog so the idea is out and I feel less shut down and upset than I thought. My husband was pretty reasonable, though firm on his position.

Candice said...

muslimathome: Oh wow, a gun! I'd also be completely against it and he did the right think by respecting your feelings. It was the obvious thing to do in my situation as well...

Amber said...

I was going to say, while I absolutely understand the desire to have a dog and also to be a part of rescuing a dog, basically sneaking the dog into your apartment and presenting it to your husband once it's already there is a really bad idea. And I say that having done something rather similar with a kitten at one point.

A dog is a huge commitment and would do nothing but cause strife between you and your husband if he wasn't on board with having it there in the first place.

So I'm very glad to see that you did go and speak to him about it first. Hopefully, with time, things will change and you'll be able to have a dog and have everyone be happy and accommodated.

Enna Ayub said...

Asalamulaykum Candice,

I like animals, but I have cats mostly. There is one mongrel that like to apprear infront of my house's gate. I fed him once, but my cats were not pleased (jealous!2x, tsk . . . tsk . . .)

Anyway, in Islam a wife must be taat (obedient) to her husband. So if he does not like dog and it is not in his culture to have one, then perhaps it is not a good idea. I don not know myself that if you're not taat to your husband and if he is displease with you (e.g. for a period for a night) then the moon and the starts and the universe will be displease with you too. (Of course this does not include husbands who abuses their wives . . .) Allah swt is ever so kind and merciful.

Candice said...

I'm not much of an obedient wife at all but I do believe in respect.

I wrote a post about this a while back, about how my husband believes in the thing about angels cursing me (close to the same thing as universe being displeased) if he goes to bed unhappy with me. And about how when this happens, he makes sure to have no negative intentions towards me so that I don't get affected by this. It was sweet in a way :)

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