Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Parenting - Sleep Approach

I always try to lean towards the middle way in everything. I like to be moderate in every aspect of my life as much as possible. I'm going to make a series of posts on the approach I personally take in different parts of my parenting. I'd LOVE for people to comment on how they deal with things and add advice, tips and anything at all. I'm always looking to become better and fix problems that I have with my flawed approaches.


My 5 month old son sleeps with me in my bed all the time. He has a crib but we haven't used it since he was practically a newborn and so far I'm not planning on re-introducing it yet. I'm a well-rested parent and that's how I like it!

Sure, it would be great if he could just be put down in his crib and stay there until the next morning, but that's not happening, and I don't really believe it's a good idea for me to be training him to be away from me. We're so comfortable with one another and I feel like I'm protecting him and taking care of him and loving him 24/7 since well.. I am. lol And I just figure he's happy and he feels taken care of and protected all the time too and there's nothing I want more than a well taken care of, happy, content, safe baby!

With my daughter Nora, I did the same and for the most part she slept with me in my bed until 4 years old. She had her room around 2 years old and she slept there sometimes, but we were both more comfortable together in the end. I made her a really cute room when I got pregnant to get her used to sleeping by herself and the switch was no problem. She has always been very independent and outgoing from a young age and it makes me believe in the idea that the closer she is to me and the more secure she is, the more she'll feel comfortable going out into the world, knowing she has me there if she needs anything at all.

I'm hoping to move Adam to Nora's room when he's about 1 year old but not before. I also believe it's going to be good for them to share a room. I don't know why we make it seem like kids need so much private space - it's been my observation that they really don't need that much! A newborn baby certainly doesn't need his own room... How weird to put them over there away from us?

Now, the part that makes this set up not work for everyone: Where's the dad/husband in all this? Me and my husband got in the habit of not sleeping together when he was in Egypt waiting for his permanent residency and I was here in Canada. After that, with our different sleeping habits and having Nora, we just kept it that way. I think we're more comfortable this way! We slept in the same bed when I was in Egypt for those 7 months, but other than that neither of us has slept with others. We were single before each other (we're each other's first relationship) and so we've always slept alone and not with another man or woman.

Anyway, this works for us but I know that for some people, sleeping together is a big part of the intimacy they get and it's nothing they'd want to change.

How do you sleep? How important is this arrangement for you? What would you change from the way you did things?

4 Comentários:

Anonymous said...

My daughter slept in my bed until she was 3 months, then we moved her to a crib beside our bed. She's two years old now and she sleeps in the alcove of our bedroom. I would never let a toddler sleep in her own room. I like having her nearby, and if she wakes up I'm right there to comfort her. My husband, thankfully, feels the same way. We don't really believe that we can only be intimate at night. We both have wacky schedules, and sometimes he works nights. We get creative and that actually makes our relationship stronger.

Candice said...

It's definitely important that both parents are on board. As much as I don't believe it's the best thing for a child to be in a different room than the parent from day 1, it's not worse than a bad relationship between the parents! It's great you're being creative, muslimathome, and not forgetting that part of your relationship!

Amalia said...

Nice post :)
Nora has only just got her own room at 20 months old. We had her cot in our room with us but for the most part, especially at the beginning she slept with us in our bed. She began to need her own space and we put her in her cot when she is asleep but usually she cuddles with us as she falls asleep. I'm now hoping to get her a bed instead of a cot so I can lay down with her at night until she falls asleep and then sneak out. If she wakes up in the night I cuddle her and depending on if she's too upset, we put her in bed with us or if she falls back asleep she goes back to her own bed.
When she had her 1 year check up the doctor suggested we let her cry it out by leaving her in the cot to fall asleep on her own as we would be spoiling her otherwise. NOT our way of parenting at all. Ahmed and I both love having Nora sleep with us and it's worked out fine for us so far.

Candice said...

So glad you both feel good about your way of doing things. We need to not let others who don't understand change what we know is right for us :)

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