This has been brought up because of Whitney Houston's death (may she be at peace with God)... It has been making me think about death a lot. My parents are starting a whole healthy lifestyle thing lately too, not influenced by her death or anything, just happened around the same time and both of these things are making me think of my uncle/godfather and husband a lot.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Whitney Houston's death really punched me in the face with "life is fragile, life is short" and my parents taking care of themselves made me realize that my uncle and husband are not.
My husband doesn't take any medication and does not drink or smoke or any of that bad stuff, but he is obese and I have been trying to make him lose weight for the 6 years I have known him with a big fat nothing of a result. He is as fat as ever and has no desire to really try. He only told me so before to make me feel better and make me stay in Egypt and get married I guess. It could have been a deal-breaker for me, honestly but it's no use thinking about that now no matter how constantly it's on my mind. Last week I understood it much more clearly than ever before. He is 29 years old and has accepted that his obesity and lifestyle (food-wise) will likely cause him to die 10-15 years earlier than if he made some changes and he has no desire to make changes. At this point he doesn't even really imagine himself living past 60 and he is OK with that.
It's one thing to want to make changes and to keep putting them off and off and off. But to accept that this is it and not even want to change?! I don't understand and it's affecting me. :( This is my husband and the father of my children. Don't we deserve more? If he has no desire to live long for himself, can't he at least have some for us?
My uncle has a lung disease and a bad back and has been off work for 15 years on disability and takes a bunch of medication. He has no kids and has developed a drinking problem over time. Like beer all day long type of thing. He recently started having really bad leg problems with sores all over the place and intense swelling and pain. It brought on a depression because no medication worked so he's on anti-depressants and something for the leg too which he can't take long term because it's strong. He also takes something for glaucoma...
It feels dangerous. His doctor doesn't know he drinks like that either so it's making me scared that some sort of OD could happen at any time.
I wrote him an email today just saying I love him and care about him too much and that I'd be devastated to have something happen to him. And I just told him to take care of himself if it applied to him. Don't know what he will answer...
Does anyone have any advice for me on how to deal with these situations?