For about a week I've been feeling anxious, nervous... the butterfly feeling like there's a big exam coming, but more annoying because I don't know why I feel like this - there is no big exam coming.
I've figured out it's likely because of having to work at the store. I have the baby with me so my time there is spent just trying to make him OK while staying ready to serve the few clients that come in. I get tense when he starts to seem hungry because I will have to breastfeed him and a client might come in... I look outside about 20 times per minute.
Everything here is messy and I don't even know what we have in stock and how much it should sell for. I have to take a message or tell them to come back later which is stupid because if we happened to have what they were looking for, it'd be more professional to not make them wait. He is not even keeping me up to date on computers that are being fixed or are fixed most of the time so if those clients come back I look like a real idiot. He forgets to print off their invoice for me to be able to charge it, or doesn't put a note on unfinished computers for me to know what to tell the clients if they happen to call or show up.
Yeah, the store is definitely it! With the weird hours too, I'm not getting anything done around the house on those days even if I only work 4h and this is making me really upset. Everything was going so great before I started having to come here... Now I spend my whole week dreading the measly 12h I will have to work so much that I'm having a hard time keeping up to date with house stuff and errands, I'm losing my appetite, and for the first time today I was just not at all in the mood to even play with my baby. It felt unnatural and weird to sing and laugh like I normally do (and normally love).
My husband better fix the store at least... but it won't solve everything. I'll see how things go in the next couple weeks but if I feel like this constantly, I will have to find a way to remove myself from this place.