Thursday, October 27, 2011

My "long lost" Uncle

I saw my uncle at the grocery store yesterday.

This is an uncle who, almost 10 years ago pretty much ditched our family. He got in a fight with my dad over something related to my grand-mother and possibly related to his closeted homosexuality and from then on didn't talk to my dad of course, but didn't visit his own mother, his other brother and me and my brother (who is his God-son).

We were close before this. He literally came to my parents' (where me and my brother lived, we were pre-teen/teen) multiple times a week!! How can you go from seeing people more than once a week to NEVER?

Except my dad, we've all made efforts to contact him and he has not really been interested it seems. When I see him like I did yesterday (once every couple years) it's always pleasant and it's weird how much he is the SAME person as he was before. The same type of weird joking attitude he had when we were close. He ALWAYS tells me the story of when I was a "baby" and we were in the park and a tree fell or was cut down and I would have pointed and said "miraculous"! You can see that to this day this is a memory that is important to him.

A part of me wants to try and make contact again. A part of me thinks he would do it himself if he was interested. He knows I am on Facebook and has my email.

What I know though is that it would be useless to think I can unite the family back together - that will simply not happen. There's still anger between them. All I might be able to do is make an attempt at rebuilding a relationship with this man myself and maybe if he wants to do that with me, he will want to build the bridge between the others too.

Should I? Am I almost betraying my dad and brother who are the most hurt in this by doing that? Is it even worth it?

5 Comentários:

jazain said...

i will say yes its worth it, even if you are never able to mend the family, you can at least add him back to yours. we never get another life to make things right so i say lets do the best we can in this one chance we do have! maybe he doesnt know how to reach out. maybe he thinks that none of you want anything to do to him. extend a hand and see if he takes it! maybe your children will grow up hearing his stories too!!

Susanne said...

Yes, go for it!

Candice said...

I emailed him and said it was nice to see him and that we should keep it touch. That's open enough for him to not feel uncomfortable and for him to reply if he at all wants to.

I don't think I'll go all the way to his place and knock at the door to try to bring him back into my life. I did that about 2 years ago and it didn't work.

Rebekka @ Becky's Kaleidoscope said...

I do think it's worth it to reach out, is sad when we lose touch with people we were once close to.

Did you hear anything back from him?

Candice said...

I don't think he got the email because he posted a congrats on my Facebook wall after I announced the birth. Later I'll send him a FB PM...

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