Saturday, April 23, 2011

If both parents die...

In Islam, who takes custody of a child in the case that there is no will?

Have you personally thought about this and made a decision? Who did you choose?

I talked about it with my husband once and I know that for me, the logical choice of who Nora is closest to is my parents. They are not Muslim though. They *do* respect me and my choices and I feel they would honour that should I die, but they don't know I'm Muslim so they probably wouldn't apply that to her life.

My husband would choose his parents. I don't like the idea because they don't know her that much and are not in as good of health as my parents, AND are older than my parents too. The chances are they will have died before Nora is 18 and even higher than they would have died by the time new baby is 18. He is an only child and so he would put his uncle as "next in line" to take care of our children. I met him a couple times and I know he has a family with 3 children between ages 5-10, but he doesn't know Nora at all!

It's such a conflicting thing! I'm happy the chances of both of us dying are low, but to just imagine my child off with grand-parents that can't keep up or with a family I don't even know is just horrible!! I'd feel bad to put this burden on my own parents too, they are 52 and 60 years old right now so it wouldn't be easy to start from scrath raising children at that age, but at the moment, they are in good health and financially able. My husband's parents are in medium health, and don't even live together!

3 Comentários:

Zu hu ra said...

Do they all live in Canada? If you don't have a will it will probably be whoever in your family wants your kids or there will be a court battle and a judge will decide. If your husband's family does not live in Canada they would probably automatically go to your family.

.::Tuttie::. said...

IN case we die our kids will stay with his brother and elderly parents. Its amazing what having two kids in a house full of adults does! Both my inlaws are walking around and playing like they are in their early 40s again! MashaAllah. In case something were to happen to them, his cousin (I like her, great mother) is next. If something were to happen to her then her twin. If something were to happen to her then one of my best friends. Its important to us that this is not left up to chance.

But anyway, the reason we chose his family is because they are AMAZING with my children, my kids love them and they are Muslim. I would never allow my mother to take custody of my kids,although people change the scars and abuse she inflicted on me as a child run too deep. I don't trust her with my kids and even though she doesn't try to convert me to Christianity she purposely goes out of her way to insult my religion. (I just leave her alone) I wouldn't want my child feeling insecure or being made fun of by his caregiver.

I would request that all efforts be made for my children to see my side of the family. My brothers are great with kids but they just hit their 20's and are too young and immature to raise a 7 month baby and a toddler.

I told my husband that we should start a fund accessible to the guardian upon our death so as to help with the expenses of taking care of our family.

Islam is very important to us and my husband's brother (like my husband) is an 'aalim so he would be able to teach my son proper Islam. I don't want my children to just LIVE, I want them to live a life full of proper Islam that will take them to jannat. The worst possible scenario for me would be to lose my children to hellfire. I want nothing short of jannat for them.

I think that is the benefit of living with a practicing Muslim family, Islam is all around you and its easier to practice. There are few things I do in my day that don't have something to do with Islam. I live my life to the best of my abilities to La ilaha ila ALlah and I want the same for my children.

Becky said...

I think it's a very important issue to settle because you never know what could happen.

I know that if something had happened to both my parents my sisters and I would've gone to my Mum's sister.

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