Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Looking Nice for Our Husbands

I don't wear hijab as most readers know. I don't really plan on wearing it either as some of you might know. And I don't think of it as a commandment from God to cover our hair. BUT I do appreciate hijab and the basic principles of it and I adhere to many of them. One I thought about was looking nice for our husbands. Hijab forces a woman to look more sexy and attractive to her husband than she does to the outside world. It's such a beautiful thing!

When we had my husband's friend over for 10 days a couple months ago, I made sure to wear loose, unattractive pyjamas in the evenings at home and BOY did my husband love that. Just the thought that he was the only one who could know what was under there and have access to him was quite a turn on really!

I have to admit that on a day to day basis, it happens more often that I look better when I'm out than I do in the home. I love my jogging pants!!! BUT I will occaisionally put on make-up in the home (and not have it outside) and will almost only wear make-up and put effort into my appearance when outside when I'm with him as well. I think he appreciates that.

Women here: What efforts to you do to look nice for your husband if at all? What do you think about this idea? Is it somethign you plan on doing? How much importance do you put into your appearance when outside the home?

Men: Any insights if there are any men reading?

14 Comentários:

♥Amal said...

Why did you feel the need to appear unattractive to your husband's friend if you don't believe in hijab?

Candice said...

You really didn't read my post... First, I wasn't wearing hijab when I was with my husband and his friend. Second, I want to make efforts to look nice for my husband over others.

ʝusᴛ❤ʝᴇss said...

Love this post :>
I do the same things. Do not wear hijab but any effort I KNOW will make my Mr. happy I will dress up for him. Like when I pick him up from work (even it's at 12am at night) I will wear his favorite style of make-up, do my hair, and dress nice. Even it's just for a few hours before sleeping ...
I will not dress up if I go out alone to class or something : )

♥Amal said...

It says "I don't wear hijab as most readers know. I don't really plan on wearing it either as some of you might know. And I don't think of it as a commandment from God to cover our hair". Therefore, you don't believe in hijab..

And if you want to make efforts to look nice for your husband over others, doesn't that kind of conflict with your belief hijab is not a commandment? Wouldn't you not care either way?

Mona Z said...

Amal, she stated quite obviously that she believes in basic principles of it.

I use perfume and try to look nice at home. I should really do it more often though, make up and hair etc.

BuLaN said...

i was not wearing a proper hijab before. i wore headscarf but couldnt be bother about what clothes i was wearing and make up too....plus parfume. after marriage my husband tried to educate me on "hijab". i was reluctant. one day, we had a discussion about "hijab". i was defending my way of "hijab" till i look at his face. he looked very sad. i asked him why so emotional about it. he said, "later if Allah ask me why i dont ask my wife to wear hijab, how am i going to answer HIM?" after that moment, i wear "the hijab" whenever i'm not with my mahram. alhamdulillah life is better... socially and professionally:)
so to the wives out there..our appearance do reflect on our husbands' deeds.

Is-za said...

Interesting post sister. I dont know about you but Hijab has enhanced my attractiveness. So I definetly look better with it on because it brings out my features.Plus I love the demure and elegant look of modesty with a scarf thrown in there. My husband is more attracted to modesty then exposted skin too. I put a lot of effort (usually) when I go outside the home. There is a lot of importance in our faith to look decent and clean as Muslims. For example we are commanded to wear our best for Friday Prayers and to celebrate Eid. There is an emphasis on attractiveness in our faith (looking nice is different from looking sexy on purpose). I think views of modesyt in nowadays get mixed in with the Judeo-Christian traditions that someone who is modest wears dark colors, and is supposed to be unnoticed and unattractive as possible. I think Muslims on the other hand have always demonstrated throughout history an appreication for appearing put together and pleasing to the eye which would include color, embellishment, designs, and patterns. Modesty for me isnt about ugliness, its about keeping your woman goodies to yourself for respect for others. I got you a reward at my blog

http://furiouslyfabmuslim.blogspot.com/2011/03/so-khappy-for-my-award.html

muslim said...

It’s natural that all men always attracted to women with revealing or tight dresses and they always approach girls in an artificial smile and laugh to lure the opposite sex.
In my case, this attitude towards hijabi girls fades away and lust turns into sisterly respect.
I don’t know the psychology behind this and how other men feels about the same. May be because I am a born Muslim and Islamic teachings took deep root in my subconscious mind.
I think, born or any faithful Muslims who avoid watching provocative TV and other programs, proud (with respect) to see their Muslim sisters (wherever in the world, either in Africa or Canada) in hijab than without hijab.
Also, my Muslim (men) friends who has faith in Islamic teachings, feel same as I do.

Amalia said...

I'm afraid I'm quite lazy and don't often dress up that nicely at home. Both of us prefer to be comfy and wear comfy things in the house. I would like to make more effort though.

LK said...

I think its a lovely gesture. Its one thing I learned from studying hijab that stuck with me. Its kind of important for you to watch what you wear and the man in your life really appreciates it when you save the fancy stuff for him :). But when I go to visit people overnight where men are present I do the same thing candice. Because really do they need to see any of that? I dont think so :)

♥Amal said...

@ Mona Z: If you believe in basic principles of it then, why not wear it?

I'm not trying to be rude, I swear. Sorry Candice :-/

Jannah said...

Salam sis, here is the thing for me, lets say I do things totally correct in the scholars eyes. Taking care of him, myself and the house.. which I do anyways, but anyhow lets say I only put on make-up just for him at home. My luck would be that my husband would want to go out and then i would have to rush the bathroom, spend a good amount of time removing my make up, pull back my nicely made hair and destroy any efforts of looking nice for him.
And I say "my luck" because at least 5 or 6 times a week he wants to go visit family, friends or some activity outside the house.

But here is the real me.. I get up, shower, put on makeup, my hijab and head out to work. I get home 1 hour before he does, and I cook dinner and clean up things that need cleaning. Hubby comes in and eats.. we spend about an hour after to relax and then we head out the door to do something. Then we come home and I remove my makeup and we either chill or hit the bed.

I am not coming home after a long days work, to put on makeup, cook, clean and then when he is ready to leave I remove my makeup then come back home and take it back off again. Just not gonna do it. We live in a world today where it pretty much takes 2 to work and pay bills. It is better for me to just put it on in the morning, and then at bedtime I remove it.

But that is just me!

Candice said...

Just Jess: You make a lot more efforts than I do. I'm sure your husband really appreciates it though! It can make all the difference!

Amal: No, there is no conflict. I think you don't really understand what I'm trying to say.

Mona: Perfume is a good idea! I don't really have any but I should. I know my husband likes that stuff. When I put scented cream he picks up on it really fast.

Bulan: Thanks for your comment!

Is-za: I agree with you that a woman in hijab can be very attractive... Attractive in a way that is going towards nice, modest, decent, etc. When I used "unattractive", I probably should have used the word modest, but my pyjama really was unattractive in its modesty! hahaha. I think it's a good thing to look nice and put together, and attractive in that way though when out and about and I agree with you that modest does not me ugly.

Thanks for the award too! :D

Muslim: There definitely are ways to dress that command more respect. Ways to speak, act, etc. too. :)

Amalia: I love my jogging pants and I wear them a lot! I wouldn't wear something that wasn't comfy, especially at home... I guess it's a good thing that I don't generally dress super and wear make-up. It only takes a bit of make-up and wearing a tank top with my joggings to make me look kinda sexy somehow! lol

LK: Right, I don't think they do either! :P

Jannah: I think there are many different ways to make things work and I respect your way too!

Aynur said...

Hmmmm ... well, like you, if we have guests overnight I will wear my loose PJs with an overshirt around the house.
Otherwise I'll wear something nicer sometimes, especially in the summer I know hubby likes shorts. Never would wear them in front of anyone else though.
I don't wear makeup, never took the time to figure out how to put it on.

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