I wrote about this about 2 years ago (SEE HERE) and really, my views have not changed. I was asking a lot of questions then but now feel more confident in my point of view that sex toys are OK in Islam generally.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Idea to post about this came from a post by Umm Aaminah about a really inappropriate book that is in the young adults section of libraries.
I'll start with ways in which they should NOT be used though:
- to masturbate alone
- to insert anally
I consider it perfectly fine when used in these ways:
- to increase sexual satisfaction
- to touch your spouse sexually with
- as an accessory to enhance the excitement/fun
These things fall into an I'm not really sure what I think 100% but am not leaning towards "unacceptable":
- man having an orgasm from play with toys (and even from oral or hand stimulation by spouse)
- use of dildo made to look like a penis (a "statue", in a way); best stick with penis-shaped things instead of realistic veiny ones if you ask me.
One thing that bothers me about sex toys though is that I don't support the industry. The majority of these products have a picture of a naked person on it. I hate to think I'm supporting his or her career. I'm sure most of the companies that make the sex toys that I "approve of" in design also make things that I don't approve of or do it in ways that I don't approve of... For this reason, it might become an iffy issue overall. Everything is connected.
What do you guys think about this topic?
I wanted to expand a little on some of the points I got into above though. Just for clarification, I guess! When I say "to increase sexual satisfaction", I'm thinking of making the whole experience of sex more "fun" for the couple, but also of something that affects a lot of women: inability to orgasm from penetration alone! The husband using his hand or mouth can help and can even replace the "need" for toys 100%, but I just don't see how toys would be any different than this.
When I wrote "to touch your spouse sexually with", I was thinking of touching of any kind, but also penetration if it's something that can be pleasurable for the woman. Some women might not see the point and some men might not feel comfortable with the idea since most likely the dildo is bigger than they are and if it vibrates it has that "edge" too, but seriously, they should know it could never ever replace them. But both people need to feel comfortable when engaging in something new.
When I wrote "as an accessory to enhance excitement/fun", I was thinking of something as simple and innocent as a pillow propping you up to lubricant (warming, flavoured or natural) to a sex swing to a cock ring to that accessory that suctions where you want it in the shower to pull a leg up on. All things that can make it a little more exciting and that can give variety in the old routine.
I'm not very shy talking about these things when said in such a general way, but I am shy about people knowing about my sex life so I wanted to end by clarifying that this is my point of view on these things, not my lifestyle. I am not saying I even tried a single one of the things I mentioned; it's really not up to anyone but me and my husband to know. I definitely want to help in making people comfortable with the idea and comfortable with sex being something pleasurable between spouses though so hopefully that much I achieved.