Thursday, December 30, 2010

Body Image

I want to make sure my daughter grows up comfortable in her own skin and simply proud of who she is, inside and out. I have managed that for myself generally but not without struggles as a kid and young teenager, where I would be extremely cautious of my weight by the fraction of a pound.

Now I have no idea how many calories I eat per day and I feel comfortable in my body. It's not as strong and fit as before, it has a bunch of stretch marks from my enormous baby, it has some cellulite, it jiggles in some places, but it's ME!

No matter if my daughter Nora becomes chubby or rail-thin or has no ass and small boobs or a giant behind, I want her to feel satisfied with what she has. I think it starts in the home. Every little thing we say as parents, especially parent of the same sex, affects our children and how they perceive themselves. WE are the most important influence.

When it comes to body image, we need to be careful about what we say about our own bodies and others. We need to project satisfaction and confidence in ourselves, not our insecurities.

What are some specific ideas any of you have to help our daughters (and sons) have positive body image?

Monday, December 27, 2010

Evil Eye again

What is the general idea on the evil eye when it comes to telling people about good things about to come or good things that have happened? Any general information to give me or article to read?

Two Polls

Please vote for the names you find would suit us best. Sibling is Nora!


Don't forget that there are two polls on the side there! Boys and Girls!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Xbox 360 Kinect

We've had the Xbox for a long time but I never got into it at all. I always wanted to have a Wii. When Xbox came out with Kinect, I knew I wanted to have it! And we got it!


It's so much fun, really! The technology is pretty advanced... it feels like a game of the future, not using any sort of remote, only ourselves. It's really quite responsive. You move, your character moves and it can tell if you're fake jumping or really putting a lot of energy into it to jump higher, so you really do need to work hard in some games. It comes with Kinect Adventures which has a few different games you go through like rafting. Side-step to the side for your raft to move that way, jump when you need to, etc. There's a game with balls that need to be blocked and hit toward objects, there's a game where you're in space and you flap your arms to move up and have to move to the sides and forward and backward to catch all the bubbles, there's a game (and this one is a freakin' workout!) where you are on a rolling platform and you need to jump over, tuck under and sidestep barriers, as well as catch the tokens as you move forward. You need to jump as much as possible to go faster. And the last game is plugging leaks in an underwater glass box of sorts. You move your hands and feet on top of leaks to stop them.

I also tried two of the three demos that were included on the game CD. Dance Central is just awesome and I got the actual game today but didn't get to try any new songs since my husband is still at the store buying it. Joy Ride is a racing game that is not that interesting for me since I don't love car games, but it's still really cool to just have to hold your hands forward in the air and move the steering wheel. It think it would be a lot of fun for kids. And it was good for my uncle who has a lung disease and could not play anything else. He and my dad enjoyed trying it. I will soon try the demo for a fitness game... After trying Dance Central and seeing how precise the game is at tracking my movements, I can only imagine that a fitness game would be really motivating for someone wishing to get in shape if the game is well-made. The hardware (sensors, etc) have everything needed to develop amazing fitness "games".

I also tried to find out what else Xbox had to offer. I figured since we are spending all this money on a game, and had spent all this money on an Xbox a long time back, I needed to start using it! What I really liked was the Xbox live. I actually played Kinect Adventures with someone else live! And I know other games also have cool ways to have people play live with others. Biggest Loser fitness game can have you working out with someone else online for example. It's a lot more motivating than being by yourself.

You can also watch movies with a friend who has an Xbox at the same time. Also, I discovered Netflix.ca. It doesn't have all the selection and options (like mail-in renting) that it does in the US, but still, I really like it and so does Nora. I have been watching Drop Dead Diva and the Boondocks and Nora is watching Dora, Barney, Diego and Thomas and Friends. She can navigate Netflix from my iphone all by herself.

Who else has an Xbox? Do you have Kinect? What do you think of it?
Who has Netflix? Is this in Canada or the US? How are you liking that?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Pyjama Day, Jumah and Fun

I'm only working a half-day today for Christmas Eve, and we are having a pyjama morning so everyone is in sweat pants and sweaters, colourful pyjamas, whatever. I'm wearing an adult's onesie! So comfy and fun!

I have my change of clothes to go to Jumah afterwards. I have not been to Friday prayer in SO LONG. I went once since I started working full time almost 3 years ago. Tonight is going to be great being with my family (parents, brother, aunt and uncle, husband and daughter).

We got an Xbox with Kinect and will bring it to my parents' house! It's really so much fun!

Hope everyone will have some happy holidays!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The Hymen

I have probably posted about this before but it really is annoying how important the hymen is in Muslim cultures! I understand the importance of having kept yourself until marriage, but the actual hymen can be broken in many different ways even if a woman has not had relations before!

Marriage should be built on actual trust! If you don't trust her, don't marry her! Women don't have this - we just have to trust that the man is telling the truth, and that's fine! I had no doubts about my husband. And he had to deal with the fact that he wasn't gonna get proof from me either and in the end, we both trusted each other and it just worked. It was almost a blessing because it allowed me to know he really trusted me.

Marriage should be built on TRUST!

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Unity

What can be very disappointing with Muslims is the lack of unity between us. We pride ourselves on being one Ummah, but we are just as divided as Christianity and all its sects. Someone looking in quickly will find Sunni and Shia and the rest will not be apparent, but once a person actually enters the community, he or she will find disrespect between us based on small differences in belief, or based on how well a person is deemed to practice Islam. We are not united.

I actually wrote a polite comment on someone's blog saying that I found the way she expressed herself harsh to the point of seeming to disrespect not only different points of views, but as well, the people who hold different points of views than her's. I got a comment back saying that she had no respect for people who try to shove their points of views down her throat, which is all fine, but is not something I was doing. And a second comment she wrote after visiting my blog that actually included this:
"after reading a few of your blog entries about your attending Xmas parties and such. I just want to warn you that a muslim lady blogging about going to mixed Xmas parties seems a little....well...you fill in the blank."

Let's just say it's insulting. I mean, when you can't actually say the word and need to write "black", it's not the word "inappropriate" she was going for! I may be misreading, but I think she was going to say "whorish" or maybe was going for "disbelieving". Either way, she was insulting me as a person or as a Muslim.

Is this a way to treat a sister in Islam? She either was wrong in how she replied or she simply does not see me as a sister in Islam because of our differences. If that's the case, I can only say that she is exactly what is wrong with Islam today. We need to unite, not find ways to separate ourselves! I am not perfect and my beliefs are not the exact same as your's. We are all individuals but we have the same ultimate goal of submitting to and pleasing Allah!

Please sisters (and brothers), don't let our differences separate us! Let's all give a small push towards respect (even in disagreement) and it would go a long way. Because I do love you all for the sake of Allah. This includes my Christian and Jewish friends, and anyone who strives to do good and be better.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Waswasa

Inspired by a post by Kaighla on Struggles of an American Muslimah.


What are some things that bring you down on yourself? Usually partly true or based on true fears and feelings, these are negative things that are emphasized by Shaytan when we have so much positive things that overcome all of these whisperings... Yet... We focus on it and put importance to it and allow it to bring us down.

I will think this over and take my turn in the comments. What does the Shaytan whisper to you? How do you overcome it?

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Dancing for Children

I just love it when my daughter dances. She's 3 and a half. It's the most adorable, innocent thing. She moves how she feels. She's doing contemporary style dancing and it's just so real for her! When it's time for the bath, she gets undressed and refuses to let me in the room and then runs out to tell me she's done and does the I'm-naked-and-it's-funny dance. It's just innocent and fun for her at this age but her dad doesn't find it that nice when she is running around naked, even if it's just at home and even if she's just a small child and doesn't really like the idea that she loves to dance. For him, she's just starting bad habits. We will want her to grow up to be a modest young lady who doesn't love to hang out naked. And to me, it's smaller details, but ideally, I don't want her to love pop music and dancing around to it. I love to dance myself, but if i rule out music with haram themes, I'm left with little to choose from. Love of dance as a kid or teenager will pretty much always lead to love of music with haram themes. So anyway, I agree with him that I don't really want her to get into that as an older kid/teenager.


But right now, she is 3 and a half and I wanted to put her into dance courses. My husband is against it because it would be a beginning to instilling love of dance, but for me right now, it's just about getting her moving and enjoying herself, and getting her started early on an active lifestyle.

What are your thoughts on dance courses for young children? For or against? Do you have children; did they do dance?

Anyway, for my situation, I will not put her in the courses out of respect for my husband's wishes, especially since he is suggesting we enroll her in something else like sports. He's iffy on mixed sports even for young kids, but I am convincing him that until 10 or so, it will simply have to be and he's not 100% happy, but would accept that since they are so young and there often just isn't an alternative.

What are your thoughts on mixed sports?

Friday, December 10, 2010

The Overgarment

This isn't very important topic for me, but I do find it an itneresting topic like I do hijab.

The jilbab is commanded by Allah to the sahabat (and it is assumed by people, to Muslimahs in general) in the Qur'an and it's pretty clear.


O Prophet! Say to your wives and your daughters and the women of the faithful to draw their JALABIB close around them; that is better that they will be recognized and not annoyed. And God is ever Forgiving, Gentle. (33:59)


And it is accepted that it means "overgarment" or "outergarment" based on the root of the word and tradition (the sunnah). An opinion that makes sense in not contradicting the Qur'an or the deemed authentic narrations of hadith is that a woman has regular clothing that she wears when she is not outside that she can receive company while wearing and pray in (so it is full hijab clothing) and that there is something else she must wear on top of that when going out in public and this is the jilbab.

A person might say that the jilbab can be worn without full hijab underneath since it wouldn't make a difference to the way it looks anwyay, being fully covered and all... but people argue that it would go against the definition of "overgarment/outergarment". It becomes simply a garment! A woman would not be able to remove her overgarment when she gets inside or she'd be wearing nothing. A verse that seems to support the view that it is an extra layer is:

And the elderly women, those who do not have hope of marriage, there is no fault on them that they lay aside (some of) their clothing as long as they are not making a display of their adornment. And that they refrain is better for them. And Allah is the Hearer, the Knower (24:60)

Elderly women probably have the same adornment to hide as any other woman. Adornment that needs to be covered with hijab. And the verses clearly says that this needs to be covered (she needs to be wearing hijab still), but she is not obligated to wear ALL the clothing other women wear. Other women have something more than hijab that they are wearing. An extra layer (the jilbab).


All of this information for jilbab being an overgarment makes a lot of sense, really (nothing really contradicts itself in this reasoning). But I think everyone knows that it's not proof of truth that it "makes sense". Lots of other explanations could make sense. This one might be the strongest opinion when we take the hadiths into consideration, especially with the mindset that society as it was in prophet Muhammad's time is the ideal society for a Muslim. Meaning, taking the fully literal approach as opposed to an approach that takes things in context. That approach could give a MUCH different interpretation. I won't go into that because I just don't have the knowledge.


What do you all think? And here is a "light" question:


Do you think an overgarment ceases to be an overgarment if it is worn without anything underneath?

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Gossiping - Ya Allah!

I was never a gossiper and I never enjoyed it at all as a teenager or later. But MAN in the past year or so, the situation has gotten CRAZY. May Allah keep me from all this gossiping going on at work!


We were 5 employees when I was hired, but we are now 14 and getting used to being a bigger group has really brought out the gossip in all of us. We aren't in the know like we used to be about what's happening and speculation causes a lot of gossip around here. And the organization is slowly getting better but we were probably a dozen employees before we stopped running things like we were 5 so there was a lot of talking behind people's backs there for a while. It's not stopping though because we have new employee after new employee coming in and it's just a new story each time.

What really scares me is that I'm getting into it!!! I'm so thankful that it's scaring me though, because it gives me a chance to stop in my tracks and take a step back even. Al7amdulilah for that. Now I just need to implement some measures that will keep me grounded and away from gossip.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Husband Working

We are such a happy family with my husband working. It completely changed the way he deals with situations and changed the whole household. I feel like this is not the same marriage I was in just 3-4 months ago. He got laid off for a couple weeks (was told it could be up to Janurary) and then from his own initiative to call in instead of waiting for their call, he got 4 days of work (54 hours of work, which is worth practically a week and a half of full time work) and when he called me, I could just feel how happy he was to go back to work and continue contributing to the household financially. It really showed how much fear he had that it might go on longer and that he'd need to depend on me for this again... I think he even lalala'ed a melody of some kind when he was telling me he'd gotten work! It had only been less than two weeks!


It reinforced a few things for me.

1) My husband actually wants to work.
2) My husband very much wants things to continue going well for us.

3) Men and women have different roles and in this family, we fit into stereotypical male-female roles (or would want to) more than I would've imagined when I was a teenager or young adult even. And I'm not uncomfortable with that one bit.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Office party

I had my office Xmas party at work yesterday evening. I had a pretty good time overall before 11pm. We had a baby pictures game where we had to guess who was who, we played a game where we had words we had to make others say and we had karaoke. We're only 15 or so at work so we're a pretty close gang and we enjoy each others company generally. My best friend, who I have mentioned on here a few times. The one who I feel would benefit most from Islam out of anyone else... She leads a pretty promiscuous type of lifestyle and just shows no hint of self-respect.


She really busted my evening up big time. She got so drunk, mixing all sorts of crap... It was disgusting. I'd never seen her like this because we simply are not going out friends... She had about 6 glasses of red wine, 5 glasses of white sangria and probably a dozen or so shooters - really really disgusting. At around 11, she got sick... Really sick. The sheer amount... projecting... And afterwards, she didn't even feel better... I'd stayed to help at least but after she didn't feel better at all I had to get someone else because I was feeling just physically ill myself from being in that situation. I don't have a very weak stomach, but I lived with a fear of vomiting for most of my life and only got over it when I got morning sickness in pregnancy - but this was nothing close to morning sickness or Nora sickness. Ugh. I'm sorry for being so long about this story, but I am still not over it and it has been almost 24 hours! I couldn't fall asleep yesterday night because of the imagine in my head and I felt nauseous most of the day (still a little even now).

Let's just say the nice time I had before this happened is really far back and I can't at all consider my night a nice time. I am quite upset at her. While everyone was enjoying their time with karaoke and chatting, she gets sick, starts talk with the others, disrupts my evening and the amazing other co-worker I could not thank enough who took over for the second part. When I came back to see how things were, we hear bading, badomm! in the other bathroom beside us... And poor amazing co-worker who helped me, she had to go help another one who had gotten too drunk and was in worse shape than my friend. Only thing I know is that she needed two men to bring her down to the car because she was not at all fit to walk. At least at this point my friend was feeling better and she *was* able to walk. Or else guess who would have been the one to have to help her down the stairs to the car and up the stairs to her apartment? Me!

So yeah... I don't even know what I feel except a little nauseous and just disgusted. It really sucked.

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