Sunday, December 5, 2010

Husband Working

We are such a happy family with my husband working. It completely changed the way he deals with situations and changed the whole household. I feel like this is not the same marriage I was in just 3-4 months ago. He got laid off for a couple weeks (was told it could be up to Janurary) and then from his own initiative to call in instead of waiting for their call, he got 4 days of work (54 hours of work, which is worth practically a week and a half of full time work) and when he called me, I could just feel how happy he was to go back to work and continue contributing to the household financially. It really showed how much fear he had that it might go on longer and that he'd need to depend on me for this again... I think he even lalala'ed a melody of some kind when he was telling me he'd gotten work! It had only been less than two weeks!

It reinforced a few things for me.

1) My husband actually wants to work.
2) My husband very much wants things to continue going well for us.

3) Men and women have different roles and in this family, we fit into stereotypical male-female roles (or would want to) more than I would've imagined when I was a teenager or young adult even. And I'm not uncomfortable with that one bit.

8 Comentários:

LK said...

In general, a lot of people feel pretty worthless and anxious over not working. I know i did and I felt better once I picked up something but even I am feeling a little anxious over the fact that I still don't have anything perminent. I think we all, male and female, are conditioned to think that working is part of your self worth (unless you are a mother that seems to be the exception). Men have it worse because they grow up believing they are suppose to provide for the family and when they can't it makes them feel less of a man. Its silly, but its how our culture is in the West.

Stephanie said...

That's cute and sounds alot like my own husband. I'm glad you guys are happy :)

Susanne said...

That makes sense, Candice. I'm sure working has helped your husband's self esteem. I'm glad your marriage is improving! :)

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

My husband was out of work for 2mos. until recently, and it was really hard for him. He was still somewhat busy b/c of being in school, but he was definitely a bit depressed. Once he got the job his attitude changed 100%. Even though we haven't been spending as much time together, its been much more fun when we do spend time together.

Candice said...

LK: Yes, it's part of our culture... I always knew I wanted to be a mother, but it never crossed my mind that I could want to be a stay at home mom. Not ONE time until I actually had my daughter and started working. I noticed how little time I have to be with her and how much I can't do by being out of the house for much of my week.

I don't think I could be a housewife with no outside work at all though because I enjoy having time to myself where I am me independent of my daughter, and work is the only place I can feel that way, and I'd like to keep my independence. I want to continue making my own money for things I want that aren't 100% necessary and might fall outside a one-income budget. One very important one is a car of my own so that when I'm here most of the time (if I work part-time, for example), I can go out to do things with my daughter without being stuck in the home all the time.

But I am not full-time work material. I don't enjoy it. I don't feel the sense of pride and responsibility from working. I mostly feel like I'm letting the family down in the home aspect because of my working. Part-time would be a dream!

wantowearhijab said...

My hubby has lived here since summer 2009 (we got married july 2009) and as we were not able to file AOS paperwork until last june he had no work authorization. Alhamdulillah, he just got it! He hates not working (says it makes him feel like a girl! LOL) and it is DEFF adding to my stress and his. I think we BOTH would be LOTS happier if he got a job, he wouldn't be so snappish and direct, etc. I would have more time alone the way I like it, etc. So, yes I know how good u feel now!

Anisah said...

Al hamdulillah.. :) more to re inforce Islam hehe

Candice said...

wanttowearhijab: I'm glad he finally got it! What a relief that mut be!

Anisah: Totally. I think it's not a stereotype for nothing and that men and women are made differently. And I think that there are more women who would benefit from women staying at home in society than society pressuring them to work full time. But I definitely appreciate having the choice

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