Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What is a...? It's all in the definition

What is a husband exactly?

It's kind of accepted that women should obey their husbands . Or at least respect them by consulting them for things (like a haircut, going out with friends, etc). But what if the husband does not fulfil the responsabilities of a husband? We all know that humans will still call him a husband. Like, "Her husband does not support her financially. Her husband beats her and the children.". So yes, we still call him her husband. Legally, here on earth, he is. But by not fulfilling the obligations of what a husband is, would God consider him a husband to this woman? Would a woman be required to obey this man? Or is it possible that this is only a legal definition, and not all that being a husband is in the real sense?

6 Comentários:

caraboska said...

If the material of a marriage is defective, so that the relationship does not fulfill the requirements implied or set forth in the Scriptural or religious definition of marriage, then the relationship is not a marriage. The man has no right to consider himself the woman's husband, the woman has no right to consider herself his wife. If there is legal documentation of the relationship, then it needs to be legally dissolved if the party at fault refuses to repent.

ellen557 said...

I don't believe that she has any requirement to respect his opinions (rather than obey) in those sort of situations, no. As Caraboska said, by doing those things he is willingly disobeying the moral guidelines of marriage. I don't believe that he is being a husband in the "real sense" at all. But I do think that as long as she considers him her husband then that's the real issue.

Susanne said...

Yeah, I'd say legal definitions are what I'd consider for a husband, however, obeying a man is a different story. I don't obey men usually. Thankfully my husband doesn't expect me to do so. If I want to do what he asks I do, but as for him ordering me to do something....I will obey my father. ;)

Susanne said...

Oh, and I don't think any woman should be required to obey any man who is hitting her!

Anisah said...

I never thought I had to ask my husband (or 'consult with him') about things like getting my hair cut. Women are not children, they can make decisions on their own. /hijack

But on your topic, I think if they are not fulfilling their duties, the woman does not have to fulfill hers.

My 2 cents

Anisah

Candice said...

Susanne: Yes, I use the legal defintion for husband as well, but as far as what is required of me as a wife towards my husband, I use the "real sense" of what it is to be a husband. So I don't feel bad for not consulting my husband about things and not taking care of him back when things were really crappy between me him. There was no hitting though, just to be clear. I put that to show a more extreme situation.

Anisah: Yes, we can make our own decisions. But if our husband can be glad to think he's part of the decision, then it's only a good thing! My husband now knows that it doesn't really matter what he says and so just agrees unless he *really* doesn't want something for me. In which case I'd rather just respect him and listen to what he wants. He appreciates knowing. It's not about control.

Thanks for getting exactly what I was trying to say. If the husband is not fulfilling his responsabilities, then the woman doesn't have to either :)

(I think any extra we can do is a benefit to us and our families, but it's no obligation if the other party is not fulfilling his duties)

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