Friday, March 19, 2010

Telling my parents

I have been thinking a lot about "coming out" since my brother caught me in hijab at the resto. Since the time change, I've been going to bed later and having to wake up at the same time, so I'm a bit more tired, which makes it harder for me to fall asleep and so I think.

I was thinking about telling my parents and how that would go. The more I thought about it, the less scary it became. My parents are the most accepting people! The love they have for me and my brother is nothing else than unconditional. I *know* that me being Muslim would not change anything for them. They'd be a bit upset for sure and scared of the unknown that is Islam and I know that. My biggest fear is them misunderstanding Islam and thinking that I believe things that I don't but when I think about it, I realize that for sure telling them such news will be followed by a period of questions and answers. I'd have time to explain what I believe and what Islam is so it should go fine as long as they listen and *try* to understand (which I really think they would).

When I think of how hard some converts have it with their parents because of their conversion, I feel like such a chicken for not having told mine yet!

Can you believe that my mom actually asked me this week if it was OK to get my daughter some Easter chocolate? She is very considerate of my position even without knowing that I am Muslim. Same with pork... She will make us a different meal if we are there and they are having pork. There is never the slightest push to make me or my daughter eat pork because she just accepts that we don't and that's it.

Wow, I'm really SO blessed! Of course I know it... I want to be for my daughter exactly what my parents were for me - only Muslim :P

11 Comentários:

LK said...

Your parents sound a little like mine and Alhumdillah for having reasonable parents. I have friends who are converts who got completely disowned! I know mine would never do that. Sure they'd be upset, especially my mom, but I think eventually it would be ok.

Yeah I agree with you on them thinking you believe in things you dont because its associated with Islam. but I guess we just have to explain?

I'll be making du'a for you that when you choose to, it will be smooth sailing :)

Rene´s Bare Essentials said...

I think the longer you wait the harder it becomes and the more you will put it off. I was the same way, I used to be terrified of what my family would think seeing me in hijab and it took some time before I felt confident enough to just tell them. I realized that there is nothing to be ashamed of and the best way to make dawah to them is to let them see islam through me, hijab and all. It was difficult at first, but it gets easier with time. Think of it this way, your family asking questions is a wonderful way for you to tell them about islam firsthand instead of them getting false information via the media. When I stopped focusing on "tomorrow" and started focusing on "today" I found that things got easier. Shaitan has a way of making us think that its better to conceal things, or postpone things. Im sure you will find once your family knows it will be a huge weight lifted off your shoulders! May Allah make it easy for you. Ameen!

caraboska said...

Maybe 'your moment' is in the offing. It sounds like there isn't any hurry, but maybe this is a signal to peacefully begin a more concerted preparation for the moment? I am sure you will know when the right moment is.

cairo, lusaka, amsterdam said...

Wow, sounds like you are ready! Sometimes when we're scared of something and we think through it, we realize it isn't so bad after all :)
Good luck sweets! (hugs)

Umm Omar said...

Your parents sound amazing. I'm sure all will be fine, even with all the questions to come. I'm sure when your parents see that you are still the same girl inside, they'll be even *more* accepting.

Susanne said...

Sounds like you have wonderful parents! :)

pinkgingerale said...

Aww, I'm so happy for you :) I think that any converts parents would find it kind of disappointing that their daughter chooses a different faith than their own, but I'm glad your parents are accepting and iA things will work out for you and your family.

jana z. said...

mashallah you have good understanding parents. i dont think you have a thing to worry about!

so many brothers and sisters worry incessantly and have to wait years before telling their parents and many times their fears are rational.

but you sound like you are in really good shape with them and they seem to have an open accepting mind.

inshallah things go smoothly for you.

go for it

Anisah said...

Salam alaykom!
go for it sis.. I know so many converts that it takes years to do this and the more time passes the harder it gets...It seems they already know though :)masha'allah

I could look into getting you some literature for them to read if u want?

Nurul said...

owhhhhhh i'm so happy for u. ur mom sounds extremely nice. :) i'm sure everything will be okay. she got the hint already :). gudluck candy. :)

Candice said...

Anisah: I'm not sure they'd want to read anything. They don't really read books... but maybe they'd be more interested since it's about me and my religion and beliefs.

About comments that they know already, I think you guys are right. And they see too that I haven't changed who I am which has to be reassuring.

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