Thursday, February 25, 2010

I need more

It's hard to find the motivation and strength to be a better and more practicing Muslim, but I feel I need more in my life. I am comfortable in my current routine of just being with my daughter and going to work... It's life and it's what I do. But I am longing for more spirituality. I can give myself so many tips to make it work but I need to *implement them*!

My husband supports me, but not to the point of making initiatives to help me change. He's not ready to change himself so that has to come from him first, and I guess it is impossible for someone who is not willing to change to help change another person. He needs to start with himself. It's hard for me though because I need the support. In starting to work on myself, I could be motivating him and we could motivate each other if he was on board, but we are not at the same place.

I really will try to put the effort in all by myself to have a better relationship with God and to be a better Muslim. I'll document my efforts on here. I have no concrete plan so any tips are welcome. And if I don't seem to post anything, give me a nice nudge in the behind to actually DO SOMETHING. :P

11 Comentários:

Allaa` said...

masha'Allah, we're all in this struggle together. somedays one is just...just there doing the same thing as yesterday. we need to improve and find places of improvement no matter what. Insha'Allah you will be motivated to constantly be steadfast and to improve in every area of your life; ameen .

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

I know you work full-time and are pretty busy, but one thing I would suggest is that you try to have one good practicing Muslimah friend that you see in person at least once a week. It would be even better if she had a child close to Nora's age so they could play together while you talk religion.

Jamilah said...

Great post. I think you'll have to not wait for your husband to help you and find that you will be the one to help him. I guess what I'm saying is don't let his lack of readiness hold you back.

Things that we find easy and hard are different for every person. I find covering and giving up music pretty easy.... but I find other things hard. Start with the things that are easy for you. You said you were praying more now... try to add some sunnah or nafl prayers in. Do dhikr as much as you can. When you find yourself with a free moment try to learn a new short surah...And the best thing you can do is keep on studying and learning. The more you learn the easier things will become for you.

One book that I can recommend is Kitab at Tawheed. There are a few different commentaries out there (meaning that someone has added explanatory notes) but the one I like the best so far is this one

Its a great book to really help you understand tawheed, and the original text contains mostly just Quran and Hadith with very little addition by the author.

Anyway, you know that you have a network of sisters ready to help you in any way we can. May Allah make it easy for you

Rebecca Minor said...

Salaam alaikum,
I suggest you start reading.. Quran, articles, books etc. Here is the link to a really great article that inshAllah may be helpful for you. I pray that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala make things easy for you.

Reise said...

learn tasawwuf. this is the subject where all the heart issues are taught.

Candice said...

Allaa': Thank you for your support.

Stacy: Very good tip. It would help so much for me to be closer with Muslims. I have a lot of online contact with Muslims but there's only one Muslim friend in real life that I see. We saw each other just 2 weeks ago though after not much contact for a while and it was quite nice. She has a boy just a few months older than my daughter but we just have very different schedules... Hard to meet up more than once every couple weeks or more.

Jamilah: Thank you; it will definitely be so important to keep learning and reading... I need to get some books. I have a list of ones I want to buy or need to look up at least but I haven't gotten around to buying much lately.

Rebecca: Nice article, thanks! I started reading it. Such good things to remember.

Jess said...

Yes! I know exactly what you mean. I need support, especially since I'm trying to figure out all of this and prioritize what is "most important" to learn and find what fits best in my heart to inspire change. BUT, it's sooooo much harder to do things without someone there coaching you and saying "hey, I need to study hadith, too." or "i missed my afternoon prayer, let's do it together."

GAH! Sometimes "we all need somebody to lean on!"

I feel your pain. I'll definitely check back to see how things are going and if you have any helpful tips! good luck!

Candice said...

Reise: I will look into that. I asked my husband quick-quick what it meant, and it really seems interesting.

Jess: I might have to find my support elsewhere because it is pretty important to not stay alone in these things...

Umm Omar said...

Remember this is a life long journey and we're here for you and for each other. :-)

rahma said...

Did your husband run away screaming when you mentioned tasawwuf? That's what mine does, ha.

I have benefited tremendously from the talks of Sh. Husain Abdul Sattar -

He talks about many things that I think will give you a kick in the behind motivation wise :)

Candice said...

Rahma: He didn't say anything about it really... When I looked it up and found it was related to Sufism, I was surprised he didn't run screaming!

Thanks for the link, I will check that out.

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