Monday, February 8, 2010

Almost went to mosque

That title sounds really stupid...

I had a tough weekend. I just didn't feel well and was moody as heck. Poor husband, having to deal with all that! I got really angry at one point Saturday night and just stormed off for a drive, not knowing where I was going at all. I wandered around for about 20 minutes and wound up in front of the local mosque. I wanted nothing more than to just go inside and pray.

But I didn't go in. There were lights, but at that hour, it was quite some time after isha so whoever was in there was probably someone who had the keys and came for some extra spiritual time. I didn't want to go in unnoticed and have the person try to leave while I was there (since the women's section is totally cut off from the men's). And I wasn't properly dressed anyway. I know they normally have a hijab and a jilbab/galabeya or something available though and that there are some women who go into the mosque a bit underdressed and use those once they get inside though... But still. When I go, I like to be appropriately dressed without the mosque's help.

I should have just gone home and prayed there, but I got home and just slept. I don't feel I have any decent space to worship there. This is something I plan on changing soon. I will rearrange the apartment a little to get this space for myself.

7 Comentários:

Stimulus said...

Just a tip - every piece of land you use to pray on will declare that you've prayed on it in Judgement day (forgive me but I don't know the source of this lil piece of info - but I'm sure it's correct). So even in your room, keep changing the space you pray on, it's a habit I do every now and then :)

Jamilah said...

You can also keep emergency hijab in the car :)

Anonymous said...

i got the following from http://revertmuslimah.blogspot.com/

The cage.....its in your head. Your violent reactions are self imposed. Its all because you refuse to submit the religion you claim to follow.
The scenario above happens more and more. People accept Islam, but fight so hard not to follow it. They lash out at anyone who tries to help them, all the while spewing venom and hatred towards those who do submit. They would rather make up their own rules that fit their desires than follow the pure guidance of Allah and his Messenger.

When Allah perfected this deen, he didn't put loop holes, footnotes or clauses at the end.... he made it perfect for then, for now, for all time. Can anyone dare to say that Allah didn't know how the world would change when he gave us his guidance to follow? Who are we to decide to change that guidance? And worse yet, to tell others to change it too?

Islam means submission. And if you truly submit, the cage will disappear. The hatred and rage in your heart will dissolve and you will be at peace with yourself and others. Ask Allah to give you this peace. Ask him to show you the path, and if you are sincere, he will give it to you.

Candice said...

Anon: I read Jamilah's blog and read this post and as much as I'm sure she wants me to benefit from this message of her's, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have used this message (which refers to violent reactions and spews of hatred) as a comment to this particular post. I feel even more sure of that considering she actually commented right above you without mentionning these things.

I feel you are misusing her blog post in using it here.

Anonymous said...

salam candice,

you are right...my post is not about you at all. you are a new muslim willing to learn and understand. you don't really fit the cage post at all.
it is refreshing to read your blog because you don't close doors and seem to genuinely want to find the truth. you are not angry or spiteful at all.

may you find peace in your journey.

jamilah said...

didn't mean for that to be anon!
jamilah

Candice said...

Thanks so much Jamilah. :)

Anon, I can't know if you are the same anon whose comments I've needed to moderate lately. If you aren't, then please don't become one and add a name to your comments. If you are this same anon, know that I do not welcome your comments anymore.

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