Monday, December 21, 2009

Who will judge me?

I hate it when I am told to watch out what others will think of me. I know what I do and what my intentions are, and I don't care what the person watching me thinks of what I do. I will be respectful of others as much as I can, but it's not the ruling part of my life, nor should it be.

An example of me taking others into consideration: I have my septum pierced and I tuck it in when I go to mosque. I don't want to create controversy or to offend anyone (nor do I want to deal with comments) even though I think it's fine that I have it and that it's none of their business what they think. This is me respecting them and not attracting attention where I don't need it.

I was going out with a friend the other day that my husband doesn't "approve" of because of the things she does (sex, partying, the way she dresses). I went shopping with her and before I left, he was trying to prevent me from going with the excuse, "What will people at the mall think of you when they see you with her? They'll think you're the same!"

AS THOUGH I CARE! I know what I am. These people have no right to judge me; NO ONE knows the true me except Allah. And I will not live my life worried about the judgement of others.

It's like people who tell others they pray 5x a day but don't (they are steps beyond in how wrong they are because of their flat-out lies) . Or people who will always pray when someone is with them but never when alone. They are just concerned about the opinion of the other but not concerned about the truth of what they do. They put the opinions of others above Allah.

They should ask themselves the question: WHO WILL JUDGE ME?

9 Comentários:

coolred38 said...

Funny how they (the judgers) always assume YOU will be like come nobody assumes SHE will be like YOU after spending time with you?

We are always quick to jump to the worst possible judgment.

Stephanie said...

That's a really good point coolred.

wantowearhijab said...

Good Post.
Silly question, but what is a septum?

LBA said...

Living in a modern society, we sometimes have to remind ourselves that the only true judge is Allah. I can relate, beleive me. When you mix culture with religion, you get people with opinions that have nothing to do with Islam.

Asiya said...

That really is an interesting point that coolred made. Makes you go "hmmm."

I guess I understand your point as well as your husband's. Maybe he didn't use the best argument to get his point across that this woman maybe a bad influence on you, but their was an incident where the companions came upon the prophet talking with a woman, so they slowed their pace thinking that they were about to embarrass him...they didn't know who this woman was he was talking to. So the prophet noticed this and told them to speed up their pace so they could see that it was his wife Safiyyah that he was talking with.

So from that we see that he was keen on removing any suspicion or doubts about his character. Yes, Allaah is the only Judge, but it is important and it is from Islam to clarify and remove suspicion from people's minds where/when needed.

On another note, I will admit that a lot of Egyptians do worry too much about what others think. I think it's real sad and pathetic.

Wrestling With Religion said...

Reputation seems to be a huge thing in our husbands' cultures. I don't understand it either. Given how big a sin slander is in the Quran, you wouldn't think anyone would dare even THINK badly about someone else.

Candice said...

coolred: Very good way to see things.

wanttowearhijab: It's the middle of the nose (like a bull).

LBA: Yes, sometime it's far from Islam.

Asiya: Yes, it's good to clear up misconceptions. No reason to give people a reason to gossip. But in my case, she really is my good friend and there is nothing to clear up. He was trying to get me to stay with him.

WWR (Sarah): I would think so too. Too bad it's not the case. At least I know I do my very best to never think the worst of anyone.

Mrs. S said...

Reputation is a big deal in any "culture", especially if you live in a small community or have a tight circle. I think most people just don't admit how much reputations matter in life. I also don't think most of us admit how judgmental we are. With ex-pats reputation and judgment are exaggerated because the circle is even smaller. I try not judge others too harshly for judging me based on outward appearances. We all do it. It’s not worth being angry or annoyed or even worrying about. Besides most gossip is haki fadi, you know just empty talk. People are bored.
It would also be nice to think, as others have put it, that if we have a “questionable” friend who doesn’t look or act totally “acceptable” people may decide we are providing a positive influence in that person’s life instead of the opposite. Unfortunately, though, the world doesn’t think that way. There are always consequences to our decisions, and as I’ve been told, if you stand too close to the fire you’re bound to get some soot on you.

Proud_Muslimah said...

really good point sister

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