Saturday, December 12, 2009

Avoiding temptation in Islam

In Islam, it's important to avoid temptation... Muslims are not supposed to be alone with a non-maharam for this reason, and they are not supposed to drink alcohol for this reason. It's a good way. I know of people who don't believe in sex before marriage but didn't mind what happens before that. So they ended up having sex before marriage. If you find it OK to be alone with your boyfriend and to make out with him on his couch every night, isn't it likely that one night you'll actually go one step beyond and actually do the thing you were not supposed to do? And with alcohol, if you find it OK to drink until just before the point of intoxication, is it not likely that at least one of the times you consume alcohol, you will become intoxicated?

That's why I have accepted that it's not OK to be alone with non-maharams, even if you don't feel you will go beyond "the limit". And I have accepted that it is not OK to consume alcohol even if you are sure you will not intoxicate yourself. It's because of the temptation.

If I go just a bit further though about alcohol, I believe it's not OK to become intoxicated. And it is not OK to approach intoxication. BUT, I don't agree that the degree of alcohol consumed is irrelevant because I think the line between not intoxicated and intoxicated makes a huge difference in how wrong the person was. If a person became intoxicated, they did exactly what is wrong. If they drank a glass of wine, they were not intoxicated, but they did not avoid temptation and not avoiding temptation becomes the sin. Not the alcohol itself.

Definitley, being alone with a man and talking is not the same sin as fornication. And this is how I see the alcohol thing too.

12 Comentários:

Adib said...

MashaAllah, nice post!

As Allah said in Surah 17 Aya 32

And come not near to the unlawful sexual intercourse. Verily, it is a Fâhishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allâh forgives him).

KrystalKitty. said...

It's the same for Christians,I'm not quite sure if we can drink wine I think we can,but we re not to become drunk.We can however be alone with the opposite sex but we are definatly not to fornicate it is a sin for sure.I don't fornicate nor masterbate and until I know for sure whether I can or not I do not dare drink wine.

cairo, lusaka, amsterdam said...

At the same time, these rules do make things a bit difficult, esp. the not being alone with a non-mahram. Living in modern, Westernized cities today (incl. Cairo) makes it very hard to avoid this. And I have never agreed with the whole "you WILL give in" thing. I think that many people can control themselves and it's annoying to be constantly told that we can't.

Like you said, many Muslims blur the lines between having a glass of wine and being drunk; or speaking to a male and having sex. Big difference!

LK said...

I think rules like no drinking or not being alone with men are put in place because MOST people cannot control themselves without rules. These rules, I have come to discover, are put in place by how the majority behaves. To be frank, the majority of the human race has major issues with morality and has weak will power.

The rule about non-maharam men is different depending on what country you live in. Like in America, it seems to only refer to you being literally alone in a secluded place with a man. If you are in a resturant or something it seems fine. But again, its based on the person needing to understand their limits and being able to stop if they feel they are going to close to doing something haram. Hense why it is best to just not be alone all together.

Candice said...

Yes, not being alone with a non-maharam is a difficult one. I think a chaperone is the best option but a public place like a restaurant is not too bad. There is no temptation to "do things" in those situations. The only thing is that unlike a chaperone situation, there is temptation to talk about it and maybe approach the idea of going to a place to be totally alone.

I said that I have accepted that it's not OK to be alone with a non-maharam because this is approaching temptation for more, but I find myself having to be in these situations sometimes. As much as it's not 100% correct to be in those situations if it's possible to avoid it, the further away I am from temptation, the less "bad" it is, I figure. Like you said LK, the rules are made for the majority, and that's totally fine and the way to do it (for example, speed limit can't be 90 for some and 120 for others), but a person who is driving 120 on a very beautiful, clear day is not being as dangerous as someone doing the same in a snow storm. And even if they were going over the speed limit by the same amount, they are not equally wrong in reality.

LK said...

That speed limit analogy is fantastic. Im going to use that to explain things to my friends if you dont mind LOL

Candice said...

Thank you and of course not!

Adib said...

Sister, that last explanation there is great. MashaAllah. :)

coolred38 said...

No dis-respect but why do Muslims make it seem as humans in general and Muslims specifically have no will power at all?

Alone with a nonmahrem...of course sex will happen...we have no choice because we have no will power to prevent it. We are just seconds and opportunity away from throwing down our panties for any man we happen to find ourselves alone with for whatever reason. I dont understand that thought mentality.

As for alcohol...either you drink or you dont. Ive been around alcohol most of my life, seen its destruction and know how wasteful it is and how it harms in so many ways...and so I dont drink it. Period. But I know I can be around it without being tempted to drink it because I DONT DRINK IT. PERIOD.

But then, thats just me.

Nice blog btw

Candice said...

Coolred: The way I see it, these are rules for society. It's the same with the laws we respect in our day to day lives. It's all to avoid something in the end. Like the alcohol level allowed when driving. It's not because of the limit itself, it's because of what might happen if you drive with more than that much alcohol in your system. You are more dangerous, and are more likely to cause an accident. A person who drove his car home with over 0.08 (our current limit here) didn't hurt anyone, but he got too close to risking and so driving with more than that alcohol level is not allowed (even if you didn't hurt anyone!). Same with not staying alone with someone of the opposite sex. As I was saying, the sin is not the same as if the person had actually had pre-marital sex, but there is a small wrong there.

Barnzai said...

I was just about to dismiss this thread as rubbish, but then the analogy of speeding and drink-driving laws struck a note with me. I am neither Muslim or Christian and approaching this from a completely pragmatic position - the logic behind making rules based on the majority is exactly what non-religious communities/nations (I live in one) follow! I'm not about to convert but this has certainly given me food for thought. Dogma usually irritates me but the discussion/difference of opinion on the treatment of temptation is a great topic. Thanks for the posts so far, very interesting.

Candice said...

Thank you for reading!!

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