Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Not revealing sins...

I haven't been posting much since Ramadan started... At least not about Ramadan. I'm kind of avoiding the subject but I want to be honest with my readers as well... I won't go into any detail though... There's something about being all alone for Ramadan... I'm not being as strong as I should be during this time and I'm not working on becoming a better Muslim like I thought I would and like I know I should.

I don't feel I should be posting negativity though. To be honest, there was one blog entry I read - I don't know where at all- that was not written with bad intentions, on the contrary, they could have been good, but the post still brought me down a little. I don't want to be the person who brings down anyone with going into detail about my Ramadan.

I will post about it when I feel there is a positive conclusion a person could draw strength from. Until the situation becomes something that could be of benefit to someone, I will not post any details about it. This is what I take from covering your sins in Islam. I don't think it means that you can't talk about a sin you've committed if you're writing about it in a way that inspires others, consoles others, etc., When the benefit is greater than the potential harm, it can be nothing other than OK. It's not only not OK "brag" about a sin you've committed (something that is obviously completely wrong), of coruse, but I also think that to display them when there is no reason, even if you know you have done wrong, and the people you are talking to know you know that, is not OK. There needs to be some (potential) benefit to someone.

Example: Person is talking to another and just says, "I now pray 5x a day. I used to not do the prayers at all except for going to Jumah but I now find it important to pray all of my obligatory salat."

There is nothing too too bad about this statement. Obviously the person knows they were doing wrong. But if that's all they're saying, why say it at all? Is there any benefit to anyone in this simple statement? I don't think there is. They are not stressing how important they find it is and how they regret not doing it (which could encourage the listener to change his or her ways NOW instead of later). They are just telling the person of a previous sin in a way that could seem very innocent, and could even be very innocent, but could also lead a person to sin themselves. If they are struggling with their prayers, they could find the wrong kind of inspiration in a simple statement like this. They could feel that they too, with time, will become the practicing Muslims they want to be, like this person who changed her ways, and might not make the steps to just do it now because it seemed so easy and gradual for this person.

All that to say that I will be more careful about posting things, and that the reason I am not going over my Ramadan experience with you all is that... I want to benefit people if I can... And so I'll try to post, but about things I feel can be of benefit, or at least of no harm.

7 Comentários:

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

Don't feel bad. It takes a tremendous strength just do to do what you're doing while the rest of your family is gone. I think that is inspiring enough :) I think you'll still look back fondly on your first experience of Ramadan although you wouldn't describe it as perfect.

Aalia of Abu Dhabi said...

Mashaa'Allah!! I love ppl who wanna leave out negativity :-D

Jazaki Allah khayr for the post!!

Amber said...


Perhaps part of the problem with statements like the one you've listed is that without more information, without a *point* like, why they now feel they need to make all the prayers, it feels a little like bragging?

As if the point becomes that they're now making all the prayers and aren't they so much better? Which may not be their point at all, but it's easily inferred.

SarahC said...

That's very noble of you, but I hate to think you're not entitled to say "I'm struggling" and get some support! Couldn't there be a reader who's struggling also, and ends up feeling less alone for reading about someone else's experience? I actually hesitate to post positive things about how Ramadan's going incase someone who's struggling feels depressed and alone as a result.

I know where you're coming from about covering sins. I seem to remember there being a similar concept in Christianity. When I heard someone recount her past sexual sins in a conversation, I knew why it was wrong to speak about it: I didn't want to hear about it. I also think that when you've made a clean break in life, you shouldn't feel bound by your past, no-one has the right to know about it and have the chance to judge you on it.

But there's surely a difference between exposing sin and revealing struggle. After my experiences in church I am categorically against hiding struggles in order to present a "rosy" image. It can make a struggler so discouraged and alone.

Can hearing someone's struggles bring someone else down? Maybe there is a risk of that, but it's most likely in someone with a less mature faith. When I found out my friend in church was depressed and suicidal, it knocked my faith a bit because I didn't think a Christian should have to feel that way. But I got over it, and it was an important thing to learn - that life isn't all roses even when you have faith.

I guess it might be good to be smart and share our struggles with people who can handle it and are ready to be supportive. Some people are really good at supporting and encouraging, and if no-one shared their struggles with them, they wouldn't get this chance to do good to them. Usually it's people who have been through quite a lot themselves. Maybe that's the silver lining of going through struggles: you get the chance to help and inspire others.

I also think we can share struggles without being overly negative - I'm not very good at that myself, but I think it's possible to take a stance of looking for a solution rather than just wallowing. I do think venting has a place too. It's a difficult balance to strike.

In your example of mentioning not praying in the past, I think it all depends on the context and how it was said. It could be: "don't worry about it, I didn't used to do the five prayers either" (bad) or: "I didn't used to but now I do them all on time - if I can do it, you can too" (good).

All of this is not me trying to coerce you to discuss your struggles on your blog! - that's your choice. In any case I hope things get better for you. Take care :)

Candice said...

Thanks for the comments!

Amber: Yeah, that's what I mean. If it didn't have a point. The person could easily go on after that statement and make a point which would be perfectly fine.

SarahC: I'm glad you added an initial! There are quite a few Sarahs and I had one the other day writing a very negative comment. I knew it wasn't you though, of course :)

I also think that showing your struggles can benefit others in some cases and I don't feel the need to stay away from that... In this case, I don't think it can until I change something!

SarahC said...

Yeah, there are sooooo many Sarahs and it really worries me that someone will assume it's me when it's not.

Neither of my blogger accounts are now just "Sarah". ;-)

Anisah said...

Salam alaykom

I think... you should be encouraged just in the fact that you wrote this. A lot of Muslims ( me included) sin all the time and not give it as much thought as you so.. al hamdullilah.
what's important is that you know that no one is perfect as we are all struggling in this life and that's the point of being Muslim, to better ourselves and strive to live our lives how Allah intended Incha'Allah.
I personally don;t think it a sin to tell someone.. ok I did this and I need encouragement. May Alla forgive me if I am wrong.

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