Friday, August 28, 2009

How satisfied I really am

Little by little, I've been changing. Of course, I've always been changing, like anyone always is, but in the past few months, I *really* have been changing. Someone who reads my blog just every once in a while can probably tell that all sorts of little things about me have changed, and I now really feel like a Muslim.

At the beginning of this blog, I was just interested in Islam (as I had been for a couple years), and planned mostly on displaying what I was learning and what I was thinking as I learned. I guess that's kind of what this blog became; me talking and giving my opinion on various subjects usually linked to Islam. BUT it also became more. It became a journey towards Islam, something I didn't even anticipate. I was discussing subjects I was interested in, but not subjects that were really supposed to change my view on things. I mean, I always had a personal conclusion, but it was a conclusion that in the end did not really affect me as a non-Muslim. But with time, I felt like it did affect me, even if I wasn't ready to consider myself Muslim. After another while, I even felt the desire to consider myself Muslim. And now just a month or so after I decided that, I feel the need to consider myself Muslim.

How much I've really changed!

I've always been pretty satisfied about who I am. I've always felt glad to be the way I am. A sensible, calm type who looks at the big picture. Never knew what the big picture was, really, but I always knew the little things I went through were not important in the end. I always had this concept where there were the "little things I was doing" like a class I was taking, a friend I was meeting, a concert I was going to, and then there was what I called "real life". It was unclear what this "real life" was compared to what I was going through, which was part of life of course, but it was something bigger and more important. If I was giving it any thought, this "real life" was my family and my relationship with them. Of course I realize that there was something beyond this. Or really, it was something different. This ultimate "thing" in my life that was just so important was anything good and pure. It was God.

Writing this really makes me realize how amazing my family is. What I saw as good and pure in my life was them and this is what they brought out in me. How blessed I really am!

To go on with what I started this post to say: I am so very satisfied with my life. I want to continue to evolve and become better, but I am so happy with the choices I am making. I have been so blessed with being able to accept everything that happens and the way things are and live a life I'm satisfied with. I know not everyone can say that and lately especially, when I hear of people and what they are going through, it hits me hard how blessed I am to be over these issues or not have them at all.

6 Comentários: said...

MashaAllah. I make du'a that you'll always be on the right path, protected from the evils of Shaytan and the fitnah of Dajaal, protected from the hellfire and granted the highest part of Jannah. :)

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

I'm so happy for you! You do seem really content and peaceful as of late. Praying for your husband and little Nora to be safe as they travel.

mawaddah said...

subhanallah=)) im happy for you hehe..

cairo, lusaka, amsterdam said...

It's so good to hear this, mashallah. I hope it keeps getting better and better =)

Candice said...

Thanks :D

Hajar Zamzam Ismail said...

May Allah bless you in this life and the next, insha Allah!

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