Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Prayed with my husband


It was a strange experience for me to pray with my husband. I have prayed twice in congregation, but never with my husband alone. I guess it was similar in the way things are done, but I still felt a bit uncomfortable. I'd never heard him recite Qur'an before or really seen him pray (he was on the other side of a barrier at the mosque) so it was different to see him doing this.

It was a nice experience though to have prayed together. I was a bit surprised he accepted to when I mentionned it, but he did!

I still think it will be better for me to pray alone though because I found it a bit hard to concentrate on what I want to be concentrating on. It's all good to think the words, but it takes some effort for me to feel the meaning behind them, and it was too rushed for me to be able to feel the meaning behind it. My husband said he was going a bit faster because he thought I wanted it to be done fast... He said next time he would go slower, so with time I might be able to get used to being with someone else while I pray. It is a good experience for sure. I will try it again.

Do you guys pray with your spouse usually, or alone?

22 Comentários:

أم ترافيس said...

my husband prays in the musjid alhumdullah, but when we travel, we pray together and I like it :)

Mrs. S said...

My husband and I pray together whenever we can. We would pray as a family growing up, so I sort of expected that my husband and I would. It's become a way for us to really share our Islam with each other and remember to love each other for the sake of Allah first and foremost.

Praying together a great motivator. Sort of like having a workout buddy at the gym. We're there to encourage each other to make all our prayers and to grow in our deen.

I'll admit, though, that it did take us a month or so for it to really come together.

Candice said...

Oh, that's good! It is really convenient and nice to have so many masjids around in Egypt. It's not the case here. The only one we have is not one I wish to attend.

Candice said...

Thanks Mrs. S. It's encouraging to hear. I will continue praying with him and I will try to make it a habit once per day.

Jamilah said...

When ever you are with someone else it is always better to pray together and not alone... so if you are home and he is too, you should always try to do it together with him leading.

I pray with my husband at least 2 of the prayers each day during the week and all of them on the weekend... unless we are out at the masjid (which is 30 miles away)

If you don't have everything memorized yet don't worry... do you need any transliterations of anything? I have the word docs that I used when I learned... I used to hold them while praying at first and read off of them! they also have the meaning as well so you can refresh yourself on that. also, in the beginning if you say it in arabic, you can also pause and say the meaning in your head right after it so that you are understanding what you are saying and get used to it!

Stacy aka Fahiima said...

I had my friends teach me to pray with them at their house, and I still pray with them whenever I visit even though I haven't made shahada. It seems more valuable to pray with someone you love. You can also make a tradition of praying duas for each other and your daughter after your're done with salah.

Malek said...

ASA Candice,
I can totally relate to your situation. When I pray with my husband I always tell him to slow down. LOL I see what you mean too by "feeling" the prayer. But I think that it is good to pray together. "A family that prays together stays together"

On a side note I wanted to say that as I have followed you I can really see your growth. I think it is beautiful. I love how you have really progressed in Islam patiently.

I pray for your continued growth and hope you keep sharing your journey with us.

Thank you
Malek

Candice said...

Jamilah, thanks for your comment. It does make sense to pray together when you're both there, wanting to pray. In fact, it wouldn't make sense to do it otherwise. It would be bad for me to pray alone and not encourage him to pray as well. He probably wouldn't pray by himself anyway. He accepted I think mostly for me and wanting to encourage me to do what he knows is the right thing.

I have most of the parts of praying down pretty well in terms of the syllables to be pronounced and the meanings into English. I'm missing some parts though that I replace sometimes by something I do know, or just do it in English. At least they are the smaller parts of the prayer.

Stacy: Very good idea about dua!!

Malek: Thanks so much! :) It has definitely been a journey for me and I feel as though I've evolved as well on many levels.

Mechante Belle said...

My parents have always prayed together; they only pray alone if one is late from work or some other obligation.

I'm not married so I can't speak from personal experience about praying with a husband, but I expect it will be something I do. :)

I especially want to do so because I want my husband to remind me and encourage me to pray. When I'm alone its harder to remember to pray. Also you get like 25 times more good deeds (called "ajar") if you pray with someone else. So I guess thats another incentive! lol.

M.J. said...

i couldnt pray with him (or have him in the room with me while i prayed) for close to 6 months bc i found him too distracting and i was very afraid of unintentionally changing the way i prayed bc he was watching, but now im fine. inshAllah it gets easier for you, bc i think it ends up being very nice!

ellen557 said...

I didn't pray with him until I remembered all the wajib actions and words. After that, we prayed together once or twice a day. I find that that helps a lot - for example, as I am still learning, I only know the wajib things to do. I know nothing of the recommended acts, but my husband does. So when he prays, I learn more.
It is also really nice to share something so spiritual with him. But I am, like you, still finding my way towards Islam (not officially Muslim) so taking that extra step together felt like I had "graduated" to another stage, if you get what I mean :):)

Tutti said...

as salaamu aalaykum,
my husband and I used to pray all but dhuhr together. Most of the time at the masjid but usually where ever we could pray, we prayed. We were so close back then. We stopped praying together and we notice a small rift beginning to form. We try to pray together as much as is possible but with the little one we usually pray separately now.

Candice said...

Tutti: I'm sorry that things aren't as good as they were. A little one does that though. It was the same for me. I think praying helps though. Two of the prayers are after our daughter's bedtime and one before it so if we wanted to, we could easily pray those 3 together. I've never prayed Fajr though... It'd be good to try.

Ellen: I actually don't know what wajib is! I asked my husband and he is really bad with meanings but I ended up understanding that it is what is obligatory in the prayer (I got that from your comment too!). I don't know which parts are though and which aren't. lol

Cecilia said...

both!

it depends on if we are togheter at the time or not :)

SirAdib.com said...

That's nice. Just remember that praying in congregation gives you around 25 times more deeds than praying alone. I'm sure many have already noticed that its more difficult to concentrate in congregation, but remember that that's what shaytan wants. He would make it seem like its better to pray alone.

The Prophet (saw) was also reported to have always prayed in congregation and never alone.

SirAdib.com said...

Btw, wajib/fard means obligatory.

Candice said...

I knew about fard, good to know what wajib means, thanks!

ellen557 said...

Yeah, the obligatory stuff ^_^
Ok so here is a description of my prayer ;) (It's a Shia prayer though so if there is something different to how you pray, disregard it)
http://www.ihic.org.au/news.php?id=22

I have heard that making dua during prayer is mutahab but I don't know.
Mustahab: recommended
Makrooh: Disliked but not haram
Wajib: mandatory
& then halal + haram. They're the five um... classifications of stuff? I don't know if classifications is the right word though.

Anisah said...

salam alaykom, here I am better late than never ehn? ;)
praying with your spouse is one the most beautiful things in Islam, I believe.
It encourages you both.. masha'allah...
You know when you are learning, it's the perfect way to pray, because your husband is like the Imam.. all you have to do is follow.. whatever he says..goes for you, Including the duaas , I believe. ( which is done after the prayer)
Did you know that it's "sunnah" to pray 2 rakats together before making love?
Anyway... this is a huge positive step...for your marraige and for both of you individually.. masha'allah... soon norah will follow incha'allah !!

Candice said...

Thanks for your comment, Anisah! I didn't know about the rakahs before making love! That's interesting!!

And yes, it has been very positive for us so I'm glad and I hope it will continue.

The Gori Wife said...

I remember when I first prayed with my husband I had to ask him to slow down too, because otherwise I couldn't concentrate on what the arabic words really meant. But he had such a wonderful style of recitation that when he finally did slow down the pace, it was really wonderful.

The Gori Wife said...

I remember when I first prayed with my husband I had to ask him to slow down too, because otherwise I couldn't concentrate on what the arabic words really meant. But he had such a wonderful style of recitation that when he finally did slow down the pace, it was really wonderful.

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