Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Not welcoming a certain kind of attention

I can't pinpoint what it is about a person that makes others think that it's OK to talk about sex and other inappropriate topics, and what it is about a person that lets others know it is not OK to do it with them...

I know that a woman in hijab generally does not have virtual strangers (or acquaintances) start a conversation about sex with them out of the blue. Covering does let people know you are a modest person concerned with your religion, and just that will make people understand that you are likely not open to being flirted with, or open to a conversation about sex. That part is easy enough to understand.

I don't cover though, and people also seem to KNOW by the way I am that I am not the type of person a conversation like that is OK with. I hardly get into situations like that at all and I interact with people as I wish. I am not the most outgoing person, but I have learned not to be too shy either with time. I am friendly and not "cold" (like I have been before). Maybe it's in part the way I dress. I don't seem religious, but I am modest in the way I dress. For someone who doesn't cover, it's a combination of the modest dress and the modest way of acting that does it though, I think...

Here are my behaviour tips to have people stay away from inappropriateness:
-to never bring up inappropriate subjects or even make a hint of a joke towards it;
-to not encourage the situation by laughing for example, if the person tries to bring something up;
-to be a bit formal with these virtual strangers and not treat them like friends (because friends know you well enough to know what kind of discussions are appropriate with you)

This is what I feel has worked well for me, although some people just don't get a hint and don't read cues very well. It is best to just use the sentence, "I feel this topic is inappropriate." for such cases!!

4 Comentários:

zainab1 said...

As salaamu alaikum sister , That is a very nice way to put it.Yes Iam with you I feel there are a lot of topics of limits for me. And I just will not be a part of,
especially if it is of no benefit to me. Good post ( smile).
As salaamu alaikum.

Adib said...

Wow, nice tips!
JazakAllah khair for sharing!

zainab1 said...

As salaamu alaikum sister, I am so sorry to hear you had trouble reading my post , that is very unfortunate, I re- read the post and its quite clear, try reading it again , Insha Allah you will find no trouble reading it. It is a very good read, a bit long ( LOL)but beneficial none the less.
Also you've been tagged check out my blog AuNaturale007.blogspot.com to recieve the info. Enjoy!!!

Candice said...

zainab: So right about things that are of no benefit. I should keep that in mind as a criteria for what is appropriate and what isn't!

And thanks for the tag. I just finished typing it up. I know you tagged me, but I didn't feel right to just link to your blog when I know others tagged me too and I can't remember who exactly... Hope you don't mind!

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