Monday, July 13, 2009

Mentionned Ramadan at work: Bad idea

I was thinking about my Ramadan hopes at work today and I made the mistake of mentionning that I planned on fasting the whole of Ramadan this year. I am not Muslim to them or anything similar. I just have a Muslim husband and they can tell I have nothing against Islam either.

When I said that, one of my co-workers started to go on about how I would not be able to. Then talked about how I felt sick 2 weeks ago and had to rest on the couch during lunch hour. I didn't get how that was related to fasting, but apparently, she thinks I am too weak and would get sick. I told her that in Islam, if you are sick, you are exempt from the fast so of course if it made me feel too sick to be able to work, I wouldn't be taking days off to fast in my bed, I'd be eating to get myself back into shape. That I had a VIRUS a couple weeks ago, I was not fasting!! Her reply was that I was eating and I was sick, so how sick was I going to be if I fasted!

She went on to use the word stupid when referring to my Ramadan fasting plans... I just told her it was not necessary to use these words and put me down before I even got into it, and that I regretted mentionning it.

Now I feel like I will have to fast in "secret" and not mention it. If I get sick, boy will I hear about it. I have used up my 5 sick days (and 5 hours more) because I was off for 3 days when my daughter got sick and spent time in the hospital. It's true that I have been sick more than normal for some reason though. I think maybe I'm no taking care of myself enough with being busy working full time and taking care of a toddler full time too. I've had some difficult times with my marriage as well (although things are looking way up these days). It has caused major lacks in my appetite and I might not be nourished like I should be overall. I guess that can't help.

But that co-worker was really not nice about it at all. I sometimes see her as a friend, but she is obviously nothing close. She's really just a co-worker and we might meet up a bit after work, but it has never been without an occaision. She is a co-worker at work, and an acquanitance outside of work. Nothing more and I really really know it now.

20 Comentários:

struggling said...

Candice if any co-workers give you guff about fasting during Ramadan, take it to your boss, if your boss gives you the same attitude, call the workers rights board in Quebec. I had to call them once before due to my manager not giving me time off for Ramadan, after I had given her more than one month's notice and in my 3 years of working there had never taken any vacation time. At that time I was working 2 jobs and figured I needed to temporarily drop my part time job. The people at the workers rights board are wonderful and always very helpful!

Sarah the Seeker said...

Sounds like she doesn't respect you very much. Either that, or she is alarmed by your apparently moving towards Islam and is coming up with anything to try and put you off. I get a lot of this from certain people. I fasted as a Christian and got this attitude too. Some people are just threatened when you decide to do something challenging and good.

Jamilah said...

Don't feel like you have to fast in secret... just do the best you can and keep your chin up. I will make Dua that Allah makes it easy for you. Ramadan is also a great time to take shahada :) (nudge nudge, lol)

ellen557 said...

You could always pull the thing I did last year "Oh I'm just doing it to support my husband" - it seems to make people go "aw" instead of the other way around.
I really hope it works out for you... you don't have to tell anyone if you don't want to, but just remember that you don't need to apologise for who you are or your interests so it's them that should be concealing their attitude.

Candice said...

Struggling: I don't think it would come to that. I have a week left of vacation and if I decide to take it during ramadan I'm sure he will let me so that's not a problem.

He isn't very tolerant though, in fact he is the co-worker's brother. He's not the "big boss", but the "big boss" (owner) does not manage the company at all so he'd be someone I would only see if I really needed to. But they are best friends (even have matching tattoos) and discuss everything so he's already be aware. My boss actually almost yelled at me when I had to take 2 hours off to go to the doctor's with Nora. I haven't even gone to a third of her appointments because of work and he still finds it too much. It's not my fault I have a sick child...

Sarah: She's a weird type of person. Not tolerant overall. I think she has most respect for people who are just like her.

Jamilah: Thank you! And yes, I think I will do it during or just before Ramadan. I think anyway!

Ellen: You're right, I don't need to apologize for this at all. And I won't. They will take it like they need to. Anyway, it's nothing to them! Don't know why she feels so strongly about it. And I do make it like more of a husband support thing, but I didn't mention him either...

Yasemin said...

Unfortunately I think you will need to avoid talking with her on religious issues in the future. In the States, we have a law that you can't talk about religion in the workplace against your will. So next time, if she brings anything up, maybe you can just tell the boss about this law, if you guys have something similar. Love you lots and fast in public sweetie.

Yasemin said...

It's me Lisa Candice, but Yasemin is my legal and Islamic name so I fugured I'd use it now.

rahma said...

Rrrr, my mother has been giving my guff about my fasting for years. "Can't you just drink water?" No mom, that kind of misses the point of abstaining from food *and* drink. "You're going to get sick, it's not healthy." I've been doing this for 9 years now mom, and the worst I've gotten was a headache every now and then.

Dur.

Candice said...

Yasemin/Lisa: I don't think it needs to come to that. I brought it up so I will simply not do that in the future. She doesn't bring up religious topics except to sometimes discuss an article in the newspaper while she reads it. It's no big deal overall though.

Rahma: Glad you haven't gotten sick from it! I should be able to tolerate a couple headaches (hopefully!)

Candice said...

I so had to add this: A black client got refused a loan and called the agent racist just before lunch. That is ridiculous, we can't even tell she's black anwyay! And the co-worker I'm talking about goes on about how all black people think everything bad that happens to them is because they are black. It is so unnecessary to add these types of remarks! Lots of discrimination DOES happen! Not all the time and not in this case, but she is not understanding at all to people in general and confident in showing it... Gah, I'm a bit frustrated. Must go back to work now though.

cairo, lusaka, amsterdam said...

Hey Candice :) No need to hide the fact that you are fasting, who cares what they think? Calling the whole idea stupid was pretty rude of her.
Just try your best and if you're sick it's fine to break your fast. Inshallah it won't be too hard :)

Jamilah said...

Sounds like you work for a yucky place! Meanies! Keep you head up.. and try to ignore it.

Jamilah said...

Sounds like you work for a yucky place! Meanies! Keep you head up.. and try to ignore it.

Candice said...

Thanks for the comments.
I wouldn't say it's a yucky place completely. The office is nice and we get lunch paid each week and bonuses each year with a raise (as long as we have been doing well) and our 5 sick days are paid... But it's an industry I don't fully agree with and this one co-worker is not very open-minded... So that sucks. It is not my career anyway, I see it as temporary and necessary for now.

Tuttie said...

as salaamu aalaykum,

I fasted while pregnant and few people found out. The majority of them were appalled. It was my decision. It was taken with my midwives on board. They tested me before the fast and we made an agreement that 14 days into fasting I would have the same battery of tests again. If i did poorly I was to stop fasting immediately. Alhamdulillah my tests came back better than before fasting so I was allowed to continue. My son was born at home weighed in at 7lbs 2 oz and he was fine and I was fine alhamdulillah

Since this person is close minded them maybe you shouldn't bring these kinds of topics up with her. I thought her response was incredibly rude.

Faith in Writing said...

That's so rude of her!! What a little "b"... I'd be the same, just do it quietly. Yeah right though, if you got a virus you won't be able to fast. lol. I mean,it's meant to be hard isn't it -that's the whole point!! If it was "Have a nice time and feel full month" it wouldn't be quite the same :)
-i've never fasted though personally.

Candice said...

The only thing is that if I fasted and got sick, I would stop fasting yes, but the blame for me getting sick in the first place would be the fasting. They'd think that if I wasn't fasting to begin with, I would never have gotten sick. But I don't know why she cares about me and my sick days, seriously!

Candice said...

The only thing is that if I fasted and got sick, I would stop fasting yes, but the blame for me getting sick in the first place would be the fasting. They'd think that if I wasn't fasting to begin with, I would never have gotten sick. But I don't know why she cares about me and my sick days, seriously!

Jamilah said...

I just feel horrible that they yelled at you for needing to take your child to the doctor!

Candice said...

And I've been busting my butt for them lately with the business growing, and with me being the employee most able to replace everyone. I seriously didn't appreciate it... In fact, I just cried that afternoon... It's such a small company, we are 8 including the boss and owner so it feels very personal.

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