Monday, April 20, 2009

Respect

I was kind of getting on this topic in my previous post. Last night, after going to my cousin and after the part of our conversation where I tried to make her see that women who dressed provocatively were not as respected as ones who dressed modestly, I asked others (my parents) about what they thought. I didn't get any clear response. They really try hard to be open about things... Like what kind of music we listen to even if they think it's too "heavy", what we do with our hair (like streaks or something), piercings we got. And more recently, my trip to Egypt to meet this man who was then a stranger, my relationship with a Muslim, getting pregnant, etc. They are the most supportive and open parents. And I guess that's why they didn't want to tell me a straight answer... they did not want to seem to judge the women who dress provocatively. They just said it's their choice and they wouldn't do it or want their kid to do it!

I still think it's hard to see someone who is dressed like that and respect her fully. When I see her, I might wonder things like if they sleep with guys on the first date. If I see a woman dressed modestly, I might wonder what she does, if she's a lawyer, etc. Where she went to school. Or another if she made that purse herself... What kind of other art does she do? I might not wonder anything because I didn't notice her! And that's not a bad thing!

I think they can end up being respected, of course, but that they are not putting odds in their favour by not respecting themselves...

4 Comentários:

cairo, lusaka, amsterdam said...

I guess the problem is how we define "modest" and "provocative". In Egypt for example, dress codes are getting stricter and stricter, to the point where if you show even your arms you're considered "slutty". I mean seriously. Compare this to 30 years ago where many women in Cairo walked around in short skirts and were still considered modest/classy.

Personally I don't think a sleeveless top is provocative, but I'm sure many Egyptians would disagree with me.

At the end of the day, I don't agree with judging someone by how they dress. I've seen sooo many veiled/niqabi women here in Egypt be more scandalous than women who wear more "provocative/revealing" clothes.

Candice said...

Yes, I believe that modest here is not necessarily modest somewhere else, and provocative there does not mean it is here. And it's not even all about what the person wears, like a sleeveless top and shorts because that same outfit could look provocative on someone who is bigger and curvier and not on someone who has a thin frame.

I totally agree that people shouldn't be judged on appearance. I think that someome who dresses and even acts provocatively should be respected for whatever they are able to put on the table (other qualities, etc).

Amber said...

While everyone should be judged for themselves, and not their fashion choices, I find that I make certain assumptions about people based on how they dress. It's just automatic, and done based on the standards of modesty we're brought up with or have adopted as adults. I cannot take certain women that I know seriously because of the way that they dress. I just can't. It's a flaw, and I try, but...*shrug*

Anisah said...

well put...
I jsut wanna add..a big reason I wear hijab is not to be judged by my looks !
noone can see how my hair is and judge if it's in style or not...I am free of that kinda judgement :) al hamdullilah. no stress..and no worries
At work,. I felt I was getting more respect by my peers for wearing hijab.
Mostly because of the fact that I stick up for my beliefs by wearing it.
I can control what ppl see about me and who can see...
they have no choice but to judge other things.. like my character, my personality, my intelligence.

and you know same goes for these hijabi women that wear their scarves but with skin tight clothing , and caked on make up...how can anyone take them seriously? nope

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