Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Afraid of saying

I sometimes feel like I can't be fully honest on this blog. I guess that's because of the "audience" I have. I am trying to find myself and learn about Islam and find out if Islam is the truth, but I do feel like I have a different view of things on many levels than do most of the readers of my blog. Probably the major thing is my distrust in the Hadiths. I don't even want to talk about it because of how sensitive an issue it is. I found that out when just trying to have a light conversation with my husband a long time ago. I think most people would be more understanding than him... he simply thought this was me "hating on" Muhammad, when I think it's obvious it has nothing to do with Muhammad himself, who I believe is the best example of a Muslim, but about things getting lost, distorted, corrupted, with time. I feel that the Qur'an quite possibly was kept free from corruption by God, but that the hadiths were not.

This fear of mine has not made me be dishonest in any way, it has simply kept me away from certain topics I might have wanted to discuss... I gave my blog link to someone yesterday, my first real life friend to actually visit the blog, and mentionned that there were some things that I didn't really discuss on here, or want to discuss, or that I stayed away from, and she kinda made me think: WHY? This is my blog! It is just me being me to be careful about the way I put things out there, but I shouldn't make myself stay away from something just because some people disagree...

I don't really have anything to say about the whole topic now, but if ever I do, I will try to just publish my full thoughts. Not censor myself. I, like some other bloggers, have recently decided that this is MY BLOG :-)

15 Comentários:

Asiya Abdullah said...

Candice, I'm proud of and admire you for your honesty. I pray that Allaah rewards your sincerity with clear guidance from Him and that He is pleased with you, ameen.

Your feelings are not too unlike what my generation went thru growing up as born muslims. I think I'm about 10 years your senior by the way, "little sis", lol! Anyway, when we were coming up, our parents/teachers, although they tried hard, weren't really able to explain things that well to us, so many times we were left wondering "Why is this haraam? Why do we have to do this and that?" With us it was more ritualistic things (like wearing hijab, fasting in hot hot hot months!) than with core beliefs (like believing the qur'an and sunnah are the two sources of our deen), but still the feeling was there that we couldn't ask. If we did ask, most of us would get a big lecture about shirk and going to hell fire, etc. It was like Whoa! I just asked a question!

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I know how you feel and you don't have to worry about me personally attacking you. I'm pretty sure most of the other sisters will say the same inshaa Allaah.

Wishing you the best!

khany said...

my two cents.

when people make small talk they (usually) do not share the details of their visit to the washroom. hiding this information does not make them dishonest even if they visit multiple times each day. nor does it imply that they are ashamed of their actions in the washroom. it is simply a reflection of one's judgment that this conversation is inappropriate, lacking benefit or unnecessary with this audience at this time.

i think you have no need to feel guilty about keeping some details from your readers; unless of course you feel that this censorship is being forced upon you.

struggling said...

If it helps create a new blog where no one knows you and let it all out :P, well it works for some people. The reason I created my blog here to begin with was because I didn't know anyone and it let me be 100% honest, I'm more honest here than I have ever been with myself.

أم ترافيس said...

Candice, I still think that people who get angry when a new or potential Muslimah asks innocent questions it is because they dont have the knowledge or they cant bother to look for it. In Islam we are encouraged to seek out information, and Allah has given us all the answers. In fact, the first words of the first ayah in Quran was "read!" So read!

I suggest you to start with learning about the Science of Hadith. In fact, it is a science how it is/was preserved, and Allah is capable of all things. In addition we have to remember, that the Quran as well was not written - only memorized - until after the death of the Prophet sallahua layhi wa sallam. So the Quran and hadith is/and is possible to have been preserved through the good memory of people close to the Prophet sallahu alayhi wa sallam, which you can learn as well by studying in shaa Allah.

Aalya said...

It's your blog and you should be able to say what you want... yeah right I know, easier said than done! I feel the same sometimes...I don't want to 'rock the boat' as they say but in the end these blogs are about who we are and you know what I think we've all had some anonymous comments that have been hurtful (I've had one and it too me a while to get over it) but we need to keep on writing and expressing. I'm sure like all of us you have read things that you do not agree with and that is the beauty in all this... we are all different people!

As for the Hadith's I know where you are coming from (believe me I know!) Coming from a Catholic background I at first mis-trusted things like Hadiths (don't everyone jump on me!) only because the Bible has been so much changed that I was afraid to fall into something like that for quite some time I only wanted to rely on Quran - but I am realizing that without the Hadiths we cannot follow properly, ie. how to pray, etc.
If you like email me as I know totally (well at least I think) where you are coming from

Candice said...

Thanks for the support. I have been lucky, maybe because I don't have many readers, or that I stay away from controversial topics, that I haven't gotten any nasty comments. I am not one to like or feel comfortable with conflict or confrontation... And I am forced to deal with a lot of it in my job, so I really don't want it anywhere else!

Aalya, I will try to email you soon! :)
Khany, I really don't see these topics in the same way as your analogy... I don't think these are things I should really be keeping to myself. I'm not being complete by keeping away from these topics. And I don't feel guilty about it, I just don't think I should censor myself.

Anisah said...

Don't let what some others think make you censor yourself. It IS your blog. Make yourself at home on it, talk about what YOU want.



Candice said...

Thanks! I will find that balance between diary and public writing...

Jamilah said...

I agree with Umm Travis... try to learn the sciences of Hadith.. I took a course last summer and it really opened my eyes to how much of a process finding authentic hadith is...

At first I wanted to leave hadith aside as well... but its such an important part of true islam. You will find people, sites, sects that don't use them at all and they can sound pretty convincing at times, but that is just shaytan working his ways.

I'll look for some Quran ayats for you too.

Candice said...


Blue said...

I understand what you mean Candice, and I totally agree with you. Some Hadiths just sound wrong, and let's be frank some sound really trivial to be said by Muhammad.

For example, why is eating with your left hand wrong? Does eating with your left hand make you a worse Muslim than someone who eats with their right?

Sometimes people fear being caught questioning anything Muhammad said or did? Why? If he's the perfect Muslim then there's nothing that can be said about him that can be put in a negative light. Unfortunately, there is.

Take the fact that Muhammad had multiple wives. I understand the notiong that most of them were married to protect them, and they were mostly not young girls but older women. I completely understand and respect that.

But Aisha? 9 years old? What about her? Is there nothing wrong with a 9 year old marrying someone at least four decades older, even if he is Muhammad?

Somebody please answer me on this, because I can't find an answer that makes sense.

Candice said...

I can't quite understand that one either... That is a child! I could *almost* understand it being done for political reasons, etc., but the marriage not being consumated until she was like 15 or later (which is still ew, but times have changed), but supposedly they were married when she was 6 and it was consummated once she had her period at 9. Or something similar. Wayyyy too young for sex! Even if she DID have her period.

Asiya said...

@ Blue: I understand your comment about "trivial" matters. I used to think the same way about certain things too.

What we have to realize though is that everything the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, did/said/allowed/prohibited/approved of, was revelation from Allaah. "And he doesn't speak from his own desires. Verily it is nothing but a revelation revealed." (Surat al-Najm). So there actually are no trifles in the deen. Everything single thing, big or small, has its significance, whether Allaah has enlightened us to realize it or not.

About Aisha's marriage to the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him...well it goes back to what everyone's OWN sense of right and wrong is. You and Candice and so many others see this as wrong. Did you know that during that time it was considered normal for a girl Aisha's age to marry? And not just in Arabian society either. Did you know that only two to three hundred years ago in Europe and America, it was considered normal for a girl Aisha's age to marry? And the societies were more religion-based than they are now.

Do some research you'll be amazed at how much things have changed over time when people started using their own senses of right and wrong to govern the world, as opposed to what God Himself sent down.

Anisah said...

Asiya, I understand your point. But if everything in Islam is for all time, not just then, now what? Now 9 year olds can get married?

If that changes, then many other things can change from the Hadith as well.

Didn't Muhammed said that he would have the believers brush their teeth (with the miswak) every time they made wudu, but it would be too much of a burden? Did God tell him that? It sounds like he came up with that on his own.

Just my 2 cents.


Blue said...

^ Now that's an argument I can understand and respect.

But I'm not sure I agree that marrying girls that young was normal back then. Maybe it did occur, but on very few occasions. We don't know how old Aisha was when the marriage was consummated, there are different and conflicting stories about that, primarily because no husband and wife ever come out publicly and say "Hey everybody, we just consummated our marriage". So all we can really do is speculate. Now if we speculate that he waited till she matured up a bit, then why did he marry her when she was young. He could have waited.

If we speculate that he didn't wait then we are facing major controversy. Why? Because couldn't he have foreseen that in future times (and since he is the "Seal of the Prophets") people might consider his marriage to a girl that young against the argument that he was not driven by lust? Or, even worse, that he is fallible and therefore not a Prophet?

I understand your argument, Asiya. That times have changed. But Muhammad claimed to be a Prophet for all humanity until the end of time, so maybe he should have considered that people in the future might find his marriage to Aisha most odd. I'm not saying he should have known the future. He never claimed that he could. But you can guess. For example I think that 200 years from now gay marriage will be considered absolutely normal. I don't know if it will happen, but based on the current trends I can predict that it will.

He could have predicted, and since he claimed to be a Prophet, he SHOULD have predicted.

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