Monday, February 9, 2009

Love and passion


I definitely think that love is extremely important, even essential in a marriage. But love doesn't need to be full-out passion. With time, I've changed my views about these things. I used to think love with all the passion like what we see in the movies was so ideal and beautiful. But I've learned that what is really beautiful is not a passionate love, but a love of respect and caring.

It makes me think that ideally, marriages *should* be "arranged". Not fully, in that the person envolved has other people make the decisions, but arranged that the people looking for partners get to know each in a more "on paper" kind of way. Things they believe in, things they want in life, things they like to do. And of course through this "dating" type period, they will be able to tell if they like this person and even love, but at least it won't have been based on that blinding passion. It literally blinds you so that you don't see how ill-matched you are. It blinds you to all the problems you are likely to have down the road.

I've become "cold" with time. Not even over a period of 20-30 years... I'm only 22. But I really, really, really think that the one thing people should make sure they have with a partner is RESPECT! And the second is to have things in common. Great if you have passion on top of that, but best make that passion grow with time. Don't get caught up in it before you're sure about all that other stuff (the important stuff)!

4 Comentários:

Sarah said...

I agree. I wouldn't be surprised if movies like "Sleepless in Seattle" have caused a lot of people to abandon perfectly good relationships, because of some magical quality that everyone thinks a relationship should have but which no-one can define.

I think arranged marriages are a sensible and practical approach. A lot of people seem to think "being set up" with someone is for desperate losers! It's funny - we have no problem networking for jobs, why not for a spouse?

Candice said...

I haven't seen that movie, but whenever I see a movie or a show (recently it was some sort of reality tv show) where someone is leaving something perfectly fine for passion, I just lose interest and start calling THAT person a loser. lol.

Asiya Abdullah said...

I got to your blog via Umm Travis' blog. I have enjoyed reading so much. I feel like it is such a blessing to witness another person's guidance...so inspiring, so humbling mashaa Allaah.

"I used to think love with all the passion like what we see in the movies was so ideal and beautiful. But I've learned that what is really beautiful is not a passionate love, but a love of respect and caring."

So right sister. My husband and I never dated, our marriage was arranged. It took me a few years of being married to realize what love really meant. That Hollywood stuff and all those love song lyrics just aren't real! Not to that degree at least. I do believe in passion between a husband and a wife, but respect, caring and common beliefs and values must be there first.

Candice said...

Thank you so much for visiting my blog!

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