Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Where I stand, what I am!

I don't feel like my beliefs have changed a lot in the past couple years. I believe in God and consider myslef an agnostic theist and progressive not-so-much practicing Muslim. I don't feel a strong pull towards organized religion and I 100% definitely don't believe it's a necessity to follow a religion, Islam included. I think we can do it all on our own and follow God's will but that it's also possible for religion to enrich our lives.

I admit that I like feeling like other people believe the same things as me and find communication with them very enriching! Or people who believe in the same values and observe them in different ways - extremely enriching! In a way, this is a religious experience and togetherness and unity is so beautiful.

I like the idea that when I pray (salat), I do it in the same (almost) way as so many millions of Muslims around the world. There is something about this ritual that really does bring me closer to God in a real way and brings me peace. I don't feel like I've sinned when I don't pray for a long time, I just believe that being active in our rituals is better for us. I believe God is pleased when people think of Him and prayer is one way to do that.

Islam is the closest religion for me (progressive Islam). I'm also very drawn to the idea of the tao. I believe that everything is perfectly balanced and I see Islam as supporting that as well. Really, this idea of balance is how I accept darkness and evil. Without it, what would light and goodness be?

I don't think of what others are (good or bad) because I see life as having unlimited things about it that I just DON'T KNOW or specifically CAN'T KNOW. This is the basis of my belief system. That there's just too much I can't know. I believe that we're all equipped to work out the truth inside ourselves, with the help of people around us, other thinkers (lectures, books, etc), scholars and prophets. Not the whole truth, but the amount of truth that we're meant to deal with and know as humans. I'm not the type to go into deep philosophical thought, I prefer to leave a lot of that to the mysteries of God.

So that's mostly it in a few paragraphs :)

Wednesday, February 18, 2015


I fully believe in sex-ed. I believe children (including teens in this) need to know about these things before the times comes for them to engage in it. They need to know about their anatomy, the basics of how sex works. It's also a good thing to discuss safe sex and STI's. They need to know about pregnancy and how that works and can affect their life (both the woman AND the man!)...

Something different to the regular curriculum (or what I know about it) is that I really find it would be important to discuss how feelings and sex go together. No religious agenda about marriage and God, I just mean... how it's important that you feel something for the person that is lucky enough to engage in such an important and intimate act with you. What that feeling is should be left open, but a discussion needs to be had! Whether it means being "in love", being committed as boyfriend/girlfriend, having another kind of trust in place or mutual respect, all of these should be discussed. It just seems like it would create a much healthier educational experience.

It's important to know the mechanics of sex especially in the ways that affect health (diseases, pregnancy) It's a good beginning, but I think we all know that sex is much more than that! And I think that teenagers also know that. Sex is not the same as a handshake. When you have sex with someone, you're doing showing parts of yourself and engaging in an act that you would never do with most people closest to you. It's incredibly intimate but hormonal teenagers who get their education from other hormonal teenagers can influence each other.

What I'm going to do is try to speak openly with my children about sex and its implications. I don't want to dictate what they should do (and then have them do whatever they want anyway because that's how teenagers can be), I want them to understand things and choose to wait for someone special, preferably marriage, and put their priorities in the right place.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Ramadan Mubarak to all!

I hope everyone has a beneficial and safe month of Ramadan :) 

Friday, June 6, 2014

Parenting: A Little Story

This is a story inspired by a news event. 

I live in a nice, safe neighborhood al7amdulilah! It's nice to be able to walk around with no real fear of being attacked or abused, offered drugs, witnessing crimes, etc.

One beautiful fall evening I went to the convenience store for one missing ingredient on my way back home from getting my children from daycare. They wanted to stay in the car instead of coming in with me and I agreed. After all, I was parked close to the door, my oldest knew not to unlock for a stranger, but also knew how to unlock and leave to get help if needed. It was a nice cool evening, not really sunny. As far as I'm concerned, staying for 2-6 minutes was no more dangerous than any regular life activity like riding in the car to get there or playing in the park.

I went to buy what I needed and and then we went home.

Unlike the news story, I did not have an asshole send a film he took of my children to the police to have me arrested. Other than that, this is the same story.


The person in the news story lived with such guilt at what she'd done in leaving her kid in the car. She'd been programmed to never leave a child unattended, no matter how safe the situation - it was dangerous - her kid could've died. She felt horrible. Her story is full of "I know I shouldn't"... "I had a momentary lapse of judgement"... "I know it's not ok but"... as she tells it. She knows what she did shouldn't give her a criminal record but she can't get past the judgement from all sides that tell her she was still in the wrong. She apologizes and has trouble coming to terms with the horrible event for a long time.

Well, I (the same "I" from the inspired story I told you before the commentary) will not apologize for leaving the kids in the car in a situation I evaluated as perfectly safe. I will not apologize for not being sucked into every story of irrational fear I hear about. I will not apologize for following laws for what they are meant to be (the reason and idea behind the law) rather than what they literally say! So everyone who wants me to apologize and admit I did something terribly wrong that cool autumn day can just SUCK IT!

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Thankful Thursday!

After not posting for Thankful Thursday in over 2.5 years, here I am again! I've had so much to be thankful for since then, what a wonderful life :) My children are growing up healthy and happy, my marriage is solid, my outlook on life is positive.

Today, Thursday June 5th, I'm thankful for who I am. I actually wouldn't want to be any other person; I feel "well in my skin" as the expression goes in French. I have been blessed in life.

It's such a nice day too! It was nice and cool outside, but sunny at the same time; it's perfection! In my dress, wearing pearls, showing off a bit of my tattoo, wearing turquoise as an accent colour in my outfit, woohoo ;)

Monday, May 5, 2014

Spiritual Experience in Egypt?

I just came back from an amazing month-long vacation in Egypt. One idea I had before going there was that I wanted to go visit mosques regularly by going into a nearby mosque when the call to prayer rang across the city to pray, going to Friday prayer, doing wudu and wearing hijab at least occaisionally. Basically try to live more of an Islamic lifestyle, a lifestyle centred around Islamic obligations. This is something that is easily possible in Egypt with mosques everywhere and the call to prayer reminding us 5x a day... and being on vacation, I had few obligations preventing me from doing it.

However, it didn't really work out that way. I guess that's to be expected, nothing really works out exactly as planned... Concrete plans are not a good thing in Egypt!

Still, I do find that I had more God-consciousness going on than I had before. I went to Friday prayer 2 out of 3 times and prayed a few regular prayers here and there. One thing that I didn't expect would make a difference was making wudu more regularly. It really is an act of worship to prepare yourself for God. Sometimes I didn't pray or anything like that, but just doing this for God made me more conscious of his presence and importance throughout the time that I was in a state of wudu.

Although I didn't have a life-changing spiritual experience, I had one that is right for me. Gradual and private.

Thursday, March 13, 2014

Disgusting Habit of GOSSIP

I had a falling out with my 2 main co-workers who were before this incident in November, people I considered real friends... It wasn't a fight so much as an incident that made them say things that made me realize that they weren't REAL friends. It left me extremely hurt... I don't have a lot of friends at all and it felt after this that I had no one close to me, no one I could trust or who loved me unconditionally. These people like me and support me on condition that I do exactly as they recommend... and it hit pretty hard.

Anyway, since this happened, I haven't been able to interact with them in the same way, and really I've come to see it as a good thing. We had a tendency to chat a lot about just anything and it would regularly become gossip. I have a love/hate relationship with gossip... I feel that it's so wrong - overall I try to understand why people are how they are, I make excuses for why they do things the way they do (that is less than ideal, or just wrong) and when we gossip about that, there's no place to add much of that and it makes it overall so negative, I feel like part of myself is left behind, part of the puzzle of what I'm actually thinking. On the other hand, there's something fun about it and I can't deny that I had an amount of fun at the time.

Since the falling out, the gossip or  backtalk I used to engage in has become flat out ugly to me, I feel disgusted whenever they mention others, I see it for what it truly is and I've been pretty much staying away. It's my respect for them that has gone down a whole lot. My hurt at losing friends has been replaced by relief that I'm not on this track anymore.

A good tip someone once gave me about avoiding gossip is to flat out say something nice about whoever is being gossiped about, so that the gossipers know not do talk about that person with you. You might still hear it but you won't be asked to participate at least and sometimes (like in an office setting), that's as much as you can ask for!

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